One of the mainstays of the college experience is meeting new people; from study buddies to drinking buddies, best friends to frenemies. One of the most exciting and terrifying experience is meeting a new romantic interest. My boyfriend and I met when I visited my friend at their college that is about an hour and half south of where I currently live. In comparison to couples that live 3000+ miles away from one another, an hour and a half may not seem too terrible, but whether the distance is long or short, there is still the inability to physically be with one another for weeks/months on end. We have had to learn how to actively be in each other's lives while not being physically together. It hasn't been easy, but I have learned a few things along the way. For example:
1. There must be honesty and trust
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This is a given. In any relationship, there is a large emphasis on honesty and trust. For someone that is in a distanced relationship, there is a new understanding of what honesty and trust is. You have to be honest with your partner and trust your partner. You have to trust your partner's feelings for you in order to make it work. If you trust and remain honest with your partner about anything and everything, it will make the experience smoother.
2. You have to communicate
Since most of the conversations take place via-technology, whether it is through text messages or any form of social media, communication is a large component. I'll warn you, though, there will be misunderstandings here and there. Instead of creating a larger issue, talk to one another. Communicate any and all thoughts and feelings and overcome them together. All relationships require communication, but in a LDR it may mean more than just talking to one another. There is a certain kind of depth and understanding that you must acquire to be able to truly overcome obstacles in a healthy manner.
3. Make plans and time for one another
This may be harder for couples that live further away from each other, but what keeps me going is when I know when I will see my boyfriend next. I have learned to appreciate the time that I have with him, while also looking forward to the next time. Making time for one another doesn't always mean when you will see them next, but it can also mean making time for video chats, phone calls, or texting. Even if they can't be there with you, making them feel like they are is just as satisfying.
4. Treasure the time you do have together
This means putting the phone down and just focusing on being with your person. I still struggle with this one, especially since most forms of important communication is done through technology, but your time together is already so limited that you must make the most out of every encounter. Appreciate the time you have together and make the most out of it, regardless of what you do. Whether it's going out to eat, or showing them you're the Uno card game master, the time you do have together is so precious and should not be taken for granted.
5. Don't give up
Distance is not for everyone, I know that. But in my opinion, if two people truly care for one another, they will make the time to be in each other's lives. Regardless of how hard it has been, I wouldn't trade him for anything. Just remember, everyday is an adventure with your significant other. All of the hardships will pay off after a while and I promise you, it will be worth it.
Now long-distance relationships aren't too bad. Sure, you don't get to see them as often as you like, but you do get to know them on a deeper level than you normally would. For the majority of the time, all you do is talk to one another and find out each other's deepest thoughts and feelings. You're able to learn about your partner and most importantly, you learn about yourself. You learn how to love and care differently, while also learning the art of patience and perseverance. Long-distance relationships are hard, but if you care about who you're with, it will all be worth it.
