I’ve learned a lot since my first semester of college. How to do laundry, write a check and take care of myself; But lately, I’ve learned how to make myself happy.
Do the Activities You Want To Do, and Jump Right In
You’re not in high school anymore. There’s no parent telling you what will look good on your resume and no guidance counselor telling you which classes will get you into the college of your dreams. You’ve made it; the only thing to do now is live it how you want to and the best way to do that is by joining the groups and getting involved in the activities you want to.
When your school has their version of UMDs First Look Fair, a place where all the clubs and groups on campus are displayed, sign up for something you never thought you would do. I think I signed up for about 20 something clubs, and though I only ended up joining two, I put myself out there.
I signed up for Best Buddies, “a global volunteer movement that creates opportunities for one-to-one friendships, integrated employment and leadership development for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD).” I had heard of this program in high school but never had the time to do it, and in college, it was one of the first things I looked for.
Just because your friend is doing a club or trying out for a team, doesn’t mean you have to as well. Even if you know nobody in the club that you want to join, do it because it’s going to be worth it in the end. Chances are the people you will meet are going to be similar to you, and therefore will end up being friends. I knew nobody going into each group I joined and made friends in each of them by jumping right in and going to every event planned.
Staying In: Don't Feel Pressured to Always Go Out
“Going out.” A phrase that can bring me joy and anxiety all within 10 seconds. At first, I’m really excited to have fun with my friends, but then I realize how much work I have to do and that I have class at 11 am the next morning. My biggest piece of advice is don’t let yourself feel like you have to go out and don’t let your friends pressure you to if you really don’t want to. I am a sufferer of FOMO, fear of missing out, and even I have realized that staying in one night is not the end of the world.
Staying in also gives you alone time, which believe it or not, is difficult to find in college. You have roommates or suitemates or hall mates and are constantly surrounded by people. Take the time to yourself and relish in it. Do homework in the peace and quiet, sleep, or watch Netflix without headphones in (if you share a room with someone you know that blasting Netflix is a true luxury). One of my favorite alone time activities is turning the music all the way up and having a dance party by myself.
Remember that you need to take care of yourself, and not going out every time it is an option is one of the best ways to do that.
Be friends with people who appreciate you
I’ll be the first to say that making friends in college is difficult. It’s not easy to find “your people” who you can completely be yourself around. I’ve lived in the same town my entire life and I’ve been going to school with the same people since kindergarten, and I’m still friends with some of those people today. I was so comfortable at home and I knew that whatever silly thing I did in public there would still be people who will be my friends. I thought when I came to UMD I was going to have friends immediately, but that wasn’t the case.
The first few months consist of many “convenient friendships,” or people who live close to you. It was hard to grasp the fact that I would not find my best friends immediately, but then I realized that every good thing takes time. I learned to spend time with the people who had a real interest in getting to know me, and those are the people who made my first semester what it was.
So go out there and join the clubs you’ve always wanted to be a part of, but never had the time to. Stay in and take advantage of your alone time, and surround yourself with good people. It will all be worth it in the end.
