There are many preconceived ideas of what an introvert is—someone who is shy, afraid of people, have terrible social anxiety. These are misconceptions that I learned from dating an introvert. The first thing people should know about introverts: it is not a character flaw. It’s not something people should try to fix or test. It’s simply just a character trait. And it's perfectly fine.
But learning how to love an introvert takes time to figure just exactly what an introvert needs. As I am not an introvert, comprising certain events can become a bit tricky, though it’s definitely worth it. These are a few traits I have witness throughout my relationship-- specifically my introverted boyfriend.
1. Canceled plans are not the end of the world.
In fact, it’s beginning of a night in, staying in bed, and being completely content with being alone. Sure, it’s exciting to get together with friends and go out, but when something falls through, an introvert will feel a small victory to stay in. And even a day in might be a scheduled thing— it’s just that exciting to look forward to.
2. Introverts tend to have a few select friends.
Extroverts enjoy a lot of friends and having multiple people they can call up and get together with. However, an introvert will tend to have only a few friends, but they will become your absolute fiercely loyal best friend. They enjoy talking, a lot, and about everything. Small gatherings are their forte. And trust between friends and relationships are of the highest values. Being honest is the key to communicate with an introvert.
3. Let’s be alone, together.
My boyfriend absolutely loves being with another person alone, doing each other’s own thing. I’ll be reading/catching up on homework, and he’ll be next to me on the couch watching a movie, or reading articles online. We love being with each other, even if we are saying nothing at all to each other. When we first started dating, I always felt as if something was wrong when he would not speak to me, or an argument was brewing. Now I appreciate the welcoming silence of acceptance that we are okay being with each other, just being there.
4. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the back corner here, playing with the cat.
Introverts do not crave that social interaction, and being with people for long amounts of time can be energy draining. If an introvert ever finds themselves at a party, they will most likely find a quiet space and try to make amends with the pet of the house. Even at work, being forced to socialize can be exhausting. Getting to go home and being alone is a time to reenergize from being with people. I’ve learned to know when it’s time to leave a gathering, and the body language signs of when it’s getting to be a bit too much of ‘people time’ and need to transition into ‘me time.’
5. He enjoys creative activities that he keeps to himself.
Playing the drums and soccer are two of his favorite things. Both of these activities he can enjoy alone, or with a group of people. And once an introvert finds that specify passion, they excel greatly in it.
