We have been friends since we were in elementary school. Over 13 years. We grew up in the same neighborhood, spent countless days goofing around in high school and middle school, went on two trips together (thank you Kim and Connie for taking me [Marissa] along!), and supported each other. Frances moved from our small city in Kansas to Okinawa three and a half years ago. Over those three years, we've been lucky enough to see each other three times. This past week, she moved back home. If you have a friend who lives far away, don't fret. We are here today to share what it's like to have a long-distance friendship.

Question: How did you communicate when apart?

Marissa: We used Facebook chat and video. I also sent her a letter once with a Christmas package. We are so lucky that we have the luxury of free video chats.

Frances: Facebook mainly. We did send each other things, but Facebook was our lifesaver!

Question: What is the hardest part about being away from each other?

Marissa: Probably not being able to be there when bad things happen to her. Or not being able to be there when she found out she was pregnant again or when she gave birth. It's one thing to offer comfort, support, and joy over the phone, but it's so much better to do in-person.

Frances: Not having the shoulder to cry on or having her there for the unforgettable moments. Luckily when I had my miscarriage she was visiting, but I need her. But she wasn't there when her Godson was born. It's hard to give support over a video chat, but you find a way to do it.

Question: Was it weird having such a big time change?

Marissa: It was really annoying sometimes because I'd want to talk to her about my day or update her on news, but she had to sleep or vice versa. It was sometimes cool though, because I'd be cooking dinner as she was making breakfast. I think that we were video chatting and both frying eggs at the same time once!

Frances: At first it was, but I got use to it quickly. There is a specific time frame we could talk. But when when Daylight Savings Time happens, the time difference changes once again.

Question: What was it like seeing each other again?

Marissa:

First reunion: This was two months after Frances left. She flew back home to be my Matron of Honor. This meant so much to me, because it is expensive to fly across the world! I was ecstatic because even though my wedding would have happened even if it was just my husband and I, it wouldn't have been the same without my best friend.

Second reunion: She came back for a family funeral. She was several weeks pregnant with her first pregnancy. I found out maybe a few weeks before that she was pregnant. I think I almost tackled her with joy when I saw her. Her mom had to warn me not to squeeze her too hard!

Third reunion: This was when my husband and I visited Frances and her husband a year ago. She was still pregnant with her first pregnancy. We were happy to be there, but she unfortunately had a miscarriage while we were there. Although she tried to be hospitable, I think we were all in a somber mood for the rest of the trip. It scared me quite a bit watching her suffer, but I'm glad that I was able to be with her during that hard time. Although it was obviously all out of my control, I felt like I was better able to comfort her in-person than through the phone.

Last reunion: This one happened just this past Wednesday. My brothers and husband were with me, and we like totally covered her in hugs. I think she was worried a few times that night about being squeezed to death! You should have seen my face when I found out she was in town. Also, her son is incredibly adorable and it was impressive seeing how great of a mom Frances is.

Frances:

First Reunion: I fly back for Marissa's wedding. I had missed out on the last couple months of planning so I was trying my hardest to make it the best day for her. I was honored to be a part of her big day, and to help her with everything! Seeing her on her wedding day made everything worth it!

Second Reunion: I came home for my Grandmother's funeral. A sad time to come home, but she seeing her made things better. I was about 6 weeks pregnant when I came home and I was beyond excited to share some of my pregnancy with her. We talked about babies and what we would do with our families.

Third Reunion: Her and her husband flew to Japan to visit us! My husband and I were beyond excited and couldn't wait! Our husbands are best friends so I think they had a sweeter reunion than us. During their trip I had my miscarriage, and I feel bad it happened at that time, but I also am glad that I had my best friends through the hardest time of my life. Between the physical and emotional toll it took on me, she was as supportive as she could be.

Final Reunion: This just happened Wednesday. I drove over to her parent's house and everyone welcomed me with open arms. Seeing her face when she met her Godson made me tear up. The love she has for a child that isn't hers says a lot about her. She might not know a lot about babies but she is trying and just that is amazing!

Question: What song would you say characterizes your friendship?

Marissa:"Best Friend" by Queen. Not only is it such a beautiful song, but we also used to sing this in the care all the time. We love Freddie Mercury's voice.

Frances: "Have Faith In Me" by A Day To Remember. It talks about never giving up and staying by their side. And we have done that so many times, we have done amazing!

Question: Did you go through any big changes when you were apart?

Marissa: Well, Frances had a baby. I'd say that's pretty big. I wouldn't say that any HUGE changes happened with me.

Frances: I had a baby. Without my best friend it was difficult but I am now home. She can be here for all of his firsts.

Question: What lessons did you learn about yourself or your friendship by being long-distance?

Marissa:I realized that you can have multiple friends, yet still be close with your bestie. Before Frances left, I spent more time with her than any of my other friends, and didn't really think that I had that many friends. After she left, I was worried about being friendless, and that I would be replaced by all of her friends in Okinawa. After a while, I came a bit more out of my shell (and realized that I'm more of an extrovert than I thought) and started or strengthened some really great friendships. And I assure all of my other friends that I'm not going to ditch them now that Frances is back. Making new friends doesn't mean that you forget the old.

Frances: I realized I was shy and scared no one would like me. I had to make new friends who could help me with things Marissa would. I realized I am a introvert unless I like you. I am very shy, and keep to myself. But I learned that friendships get stronger. I made new friends but she was still my best friend. I made new best friends, but that never affected our relationship. If anything it made is stronger. We had friends to lean on and to help with surprises. Now I have more great friends, and so does Marissa.

Question: What advice do you have for friends who are being separated?

Marissa Talk to each other. Vent about little things. Vent about big things. Share good news. Share funny stories. Above all, stay connected. I have seen friendships fall apart when one or both parties promise to write/call/etc. and never do. Keep your friend part of your life.

Frances: Don't get stressed. Do not worry if your friendship will make it, because it will. Share everything that you would if you were together. Make time for them, don't let them become a hassle, that's when friendships take a turn for the worse. The reunions will make it all worth it!

Do you or have you had a long-distance friendship? What helped you stay in touch? Share below!