How To Let Go Of Your First Love: A 5-Step Program | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

How To Let Go Of Your First Love: A 5-Step Program

It's not just about the breakup, it's about everything that comes afterwards.

11
How To Let Go Of Your First Love: A 5-Step Program
Ronne B.

It's hard to let go. Accepting a new version of your life without the one person you thought would always be around is devastating. But it can be done.

Step 1: Delete him or her off of social media.

21st century technology is not kind. It is not cooperative. It will hinder the process.

Unfollow them on Twitter and Instagram. Delete them off Snapchat and Facebook. Back up the photos on your hard drive if you must, but delete them off of your phone. Seeing their face every day, whether it be old pictures of the two of you, or whether it be their Snapchat story of them and their new significant other, will hurt more than you realize. One way, you’re left fantasizing about the past, and the other, you’re smacked in the face constantly with their new reality instead of focusing on creating your own. The temptation of reminiscing is strong, but you must be stronger.

Step 2: Now that you are no longer looking in your rearview mirror, it is important that out of your windshield you are not choosing roads simply because you believe it will lead you back to them.

You can think, “Hey! I’m doing great. I don’t look at photos anymore, I don’t listen to our song anymore, and they’re no longer my first thought in the morning.” But if you are still (consciously or subconsciously) making decisions because you think that it is what they would want you to do, or because you think that eventually, it will allow you to become a person they would want to be with, you still have a longer way to go than you think. It is okay, you will get there.

Step 3: Surround yourself with things that make you happy at your core.

Allow me to clarify: if it is something that you once enjoyed because you did it with them, it does not count. Go back in your mind to things you have always loved. Not things they helped you to discover, not things that were made better by their presence. Maybe you really love to read--hit up Barnes and Noble, grab a coffee and breathe in that comforting book smell. Maybe comedy brings you great peace – go to some stand-up nights, watch as many clips as you can, brush up on your own jokes.

FEED YOUR SOUL. When someone who filled you up with love is no longer around, you can (and probably will) be left feeling very empty. You are hungry for something to hold onto- let it be yourself. Fill yourself with you.

Step 4: Forget your fear.

It is scary to be alone! It is scary to be alone! It is scary. And scarier yet is feeling alone, even when you are not. But here’s the twist: it doesn’t have to be. There’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. You will probably have to re-learn how to be alone without being lonely all over again, but it is the greatest gift you could give yourself.

Step 5: Stop the comparison.

So, you've made it through the previous four steps. You're doing great! Maybe you've even met someone new.

But there's always a nagging sensation in the back of your mind. This new person can't ever be what the old one was. You can't help but be sad that you won't ever find that kind of love again.

And you're right. You can't ever find another love like that one. But that's okay. Your first love will have given you things that you won't ever get from someone else. But you're not supposed to. You learned from them, you were loved by them, and you have grown exponentially because of it. Be proud of yourself. And do not hinder your future relationships by expecting it to be like that one. Explore, live, and move on.

I have grown because of you, but I am growing still.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

2638
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

449157
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

21506
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Moana's Top 10 Life Tips

"Moana" is filled with life lessons that involve far more than finding true love as many other Disney movies do.

44522
Animated image of a woman with long dark hair and tattoos
StableDiffusion

1. It's easy to be fooled by shiny things.

Digital image of shiny gemstones in cased in gold. shiny things StableDiffusion

Tamatoa created a liar filled with shiny things simply for the purpose of tricking fish to enter and become his food. He too experiences a lesson in how easy it is to be tricked by shiny things when Moana distracts him by covering herself in glowing algae so Maui can grab his hook.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments