Today I'm going to talk about one of the many things America's capitalist, individualist society loves to brush under the carpet: quitting. Sometimes, things just don't pan out the way they should and it causes more harm to stay than leave. Be it an unhealthy relationship, workaholism, or whatever your pick of maladaptive behavior/situation. At some point in life, there are going to be things we have to walk away from and it's crucial to be able to distinguish them. Even if that means swallowing your pride for a second or giving up that cool job you were working towards for so long. So how do you know when it's time to quit? Read on.
1. It's consistently causing more harm than good.
A common red flag is when the process of trying to obtain X object/person/job/etc. hurts a whole lot and the reward doesn't nearly justify the means. This one can be hard to establish because you have to be so honest with yourself, but what's helped me is taking a step back and trying to the examine the situation objectively. If you start getting into the details of how long you've been trying or what other people will think if you give it up, it's going to make it that much harder to quit.
2. There's no possible way to continue successfully or healthily.
When I started high school, I barely placed out of Algebra 1 and struggled with the Algebra 2/Trig class I took. It got to the point that I had a C- and there was no hope of me passing, but I was too proud to admit what was happening to anyone -- let alone myself. My mum found out about my grade by accident and she had to persuade me to re-take Algebra 1. In the end, it was the right move and I finished out high school with a strong grade in Pre-Calculus Honors, but it was because my mum helped me see the truth.
I didn't even have to quit forever because I came back to the class a few years later, only that time I was ready. So just remember that quitting doesn't necessarily have to be for life.
3. You're holding on for the wrong reasons.
A few months before I entered university, I ended a relationship with an Internet friend. She and I were very close for the years we knew each other, but it fizzled out when I didn't have a phone for a few months. I kept texting and emailing her because I didn't want to admit to myself I lost her. It took me months to muster the strength to finally call it off, but it was one of the best decisions I've made in the past few years.
I was sacrificing my happiness for all the wrong reasons and, in the end, I had to choose myself over a broken dream.
4. Your family/friends are telling you to quit.
I'm not suggesting you let other people tell you how to live your life, but people who care about you generally can tell when something's good or bad for you. One of my friends in middle school had an alcohol problem that spiraled to the point that she got kicked out of high school a few years later. Many of her friends, myself included, urged her to drink less before it ruined her life.
While this is an extreme example, I think it's easy enough to understand that you can replicate the logic in other situations.
5. A few things to keep in mind...
The decision to quit shouldn't be a knee-jerk reaction. Just like you shouldn't keep doing something for the wrong reasons, you shouldn't quit for the wrong reasons. Take the time to make sure you're not just frustrated in the moment and there aren't any resources you haven't looked into yet. Also, you want to make sure that the thing you're quitting is indeed the source of your problems. (This requires even more honesty with yourself, sorry!)
Have a plan for when you go. When my dad quit his job, he didn't think about what he would do afterwards, so he ended up sitting at home doing nothing for a while. Now he's pursuing a graduate degree so he can throw himself back into the workforce more qualified than ever, but it took him a while to decide to go back to school.
