Mastering how to hook up in your dorm room can be much more difficult than some of your upper-level classes. Aside from the awkwardly narrow beds and the occasional top bunks, you also have to endure the potential embarrassment of hooking up with another human just across the room, or in some situations, in the bed right beneath you.
Here are a few tips to help you out:
Let's start with the room layout:
1. Don't loft your bed, just don't
Now, don't get me wrong, my bed is lofted. Butttt I am also in a daredevil and live in the tiniest room on campus. With that said, if you're like me with an understanding and patient boyfriend then go for it, but if you are bringing home frat guys and trying to send them home post "getting it on," lofting is not the way to go.
2. Keep it to three pillows, max
I know, I know, us girls LIVE for our throw pillows but save them for your couch or a comfy chair because they'll only cause more headaches and more distractions and more distractions will only mean less and less hooking up.
3. Just know a light bedspread = lots of stains
Don't make the mistake of letting dad-bod Matt sweat all over your pristine white down comforter and turn it yellow, go with the deep purple or navy and save yourself a lot of headaches. OR spring for both and just swap them out pre-dick appointment.
Now, let's talk roommates:
Roommates will always be a tricky situation. You never want to sexile a friend and absolutely never want a friend walking in on you or worse, a stranger, if you do have a random roommate.
1. Make sure to ask about their class schedule
The best time can have your room to yourself and your significant other is when you know your roommate is out. Casually ask about their classes and when their other clubs and organizations meet but don't forget to make an effort to get to know how often they skip class and how long it takes them to make the treck back.
Better yet, drop that you're worried you might be kidnapped before heading out late at night and share your location with them, odds are they'll share there's back and you'll be all set.
2. Strategically plan the best times to ask your roommate for the room to yourself
Knowing your roommate's schedule is also great for strategically asking them for the room on nights you know they'll already be out. It wouldn't be fair to sexile your roommate every time you and your S.O. want to Netflix and chill and that will only make your roommate feel like you don't care about them, and assuming you have a conscious, it will make you feel like a terrible roommate. Asking on nights you know they are already busy are perfect because they won't be left with anything to do.
3. Skip the sleepovers
It's college. You and your S.O. don't need to be together all day every day. Do something else like FaceTime them before bed if you absolutely need to see them as you fall asleep and make sleepovers special when your roommates do head home for the weekends.
Tips for doing the deed:
1. Know the positions that work
If you did have to bunk or loft, stick with positions like spooning and missionary. Anything requiring any bit of height (cowboy etc.) could get painful quickly.
2. But don't limit yourself to the bed
If the positions required for making it work in a little bed doesn't appeal to you then get creative. Make use of the desk, a chair or stand against the wall, anything you're feeling.
3. Turn the volume down
As tough as it can be, try and keep the noise to a minimum. It may be exciting to you that others might hear you, but is it as exciting for those who may be on the hearing end of things? Probably not. Try having super sneaky, super quiet sex, I'm telling you it can be extremely hot. But just know, if there is a person in the bed next to you, there is a very good chance the really do know what is going on.
