First off, unless it is a strong relationship, you should not be in one your freshman year of college. This is your first year on your own and you need to get the full experience. You need to make mistakes, explore new things, make new friends, start fresh; and no offense, but you are not going to get that when you have another person to think about. Sophomore year is iffy. If you find someone that you truly cannot live without, then don’t let them go; but don’t settle either. You have your whole life to fall in love so whatever you do, don’t force it because that will not end well.
However, some people do meet their soul mate in college. Some may meet in class, in the dining center, maybe on the quad or even at a frat party…(don’t judge). Whatever the case may be, if you do find that special someone, don’t ignore it because “it’s college”. Yes, it is college, but in a couple of years college will be over and you don’t want to look back and think “what if…” You can have a boyfriend and have a college experience at the same time, trust me!
With that being said, you have to find a happy medium between time spent with friends and time spent with your significant other. The last thing you want to do is be is an outsider to your own group of friends. If you spend every waking moment with your S.O. you are going to miss out on memories, inside jokes, laughs, and tears. At first this may not seem like a big deal, but when you do all get together and those inside jokes are being made and they begin to reminisce, you are going to be totally out of the loop and you have to admit, THAT SUCKS. Spend two or three nights with your S.O. and dedicate the rest of your time to your friends. If you’re lucky, your S.O. will eventually become a part of your friend group and you’ll all be able to hangout together. However, you obviously still need your time alone with your bae and your time alone with your girls.
It’s always a good idea to get a group of your friends and a group of their friends together maybe have a pre-party before the actual party! This will allow you to spend time with your S.O. while also having fun with your friends and it will give you the chance to hook one of your friends up with theirs; double dates, am I right?
The beginning of a relationship is always all fun and games, but obviously the longer you are together and the more moments you share, the more serious the relationship will become. Try not to get too caught up in your relationship, because college is the best four years of your life that you will never get back, and let me tell you, it flies by. It’s OK to have a serious relationship, just don’t let it consume you!
Do what you can to be the fun couple; everyone loves the fun couple. The more fun you have with your S.O. while you’re out and about, the more people are going to want you around. No one wants to invite the couple that is going to sit in the corner and only talk to each other or sit on the couch and make out the whole time. Be the couple who dominates in beer pong (if 21), the couple who has a dance off in the middle of a party, the couple that can have fun doing absolutely anything together.
You’re going to fight; fighting is inevitable in any relationship. But you need to choose your battles. Don’t waste time fighting over petty drama. And if you truly care about your relationship with this person, don’t let any fight ruin that. Talking is always good--and I mean SOBER talking, and NOT texting, because we all know things are taken out of context when you aren’t face to face. Do what you can to avoid fighting, but don’t hold in anything in fear of a fight, because the more you bottle up, the bigger the explosion is going to be when it finally comes out.
Bottom line: it IS possible to be in a relationship in college.
