Whether it was a two-month relationship or a two-year relationship, going through a break-up sucks. It's seriously one of the worst changes to undergo. You go from being someone's "person" to being just another ex. You go from seeing someone almost every day to never seeing them at all. You go from saying "I love you" to no words at all. Break-ups makes you feel confused, hurt, sad, and angry.
I've recently gone through a break-up, and not a great one at that. Details don't need to be mentioned, but I'll definitely say it was the worst one and still is. By recent, I literally mean like two weeks ago. I didn't know what to do with myself and I'm still unsure about it sometimes. I didn't know if I wanted to write this article or not, but it's something I'm experiencing and there are tons of people out there that are going through the same thing. There have been some things that have helped me tremendously through this break-up, and some things that have made me feel worse. If you know from experience or you're going through this, read my personal guide on how to handle a break-up.
1. Cry it out.
For a good three days, all I did was cry. I still randomly cry. At first I was pretty annoyed by the fact that I would be in the middle of driving to work and then I would just lose my shit and dramatically cry all by myself in the car. After a while, I realized that the crying really helped me. You seriously have to let all of your emotions out and not hold back those tears.
"Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears to make room for a heart full of smiles" -"One True Hill"
2. Talk it out.
This goes along with the crying. If you want to talk to a friend or family about how you're feeling, then do it. Don't, by any means, make it the only thing you talk about, but don't hold it in either. I'm not the type to express my emotions, but it truly helped me to talk about the situation I'm in and how it made/makes me feel. Don't be afraid to just talk it out, even if you're all by yourself!
3. Lean on your friends and family.
This one is so important. My family has been really supportive and I suggest you lean on your family if you've got a good one. I don't know how I could have gone through this without my girlfriends either. Friends and family will always be important to me and they've been a huge help throughout this life transition. Always always always take advantage of the support system you have.
4. Cut ties.
This is one of the hardest things. Like I had mentioned before, you go from talking to this person every single day (probably) to never really talking again. Trust me, not talking to your ex is most likely the best thing for you. If you're scrolling through Facebook and you see your ex online, resist the urge to send that message. Resist the urge to send the text or send the snap chat. If you're one of the people out there that think it is possible to be friends with your ex, then more power to you. I simply just suggest you cut ties with the person overall. Don't write any letters either...oops, broke my own rule.
5. Drink.
This, of course, only applies to those of age. Seriously though, there is nothing wrong with going out and getting a little tipsy with some people. It's enjoyable! I don't think you should drink alone and become a raging alcoholic, but hey, go out and have some freaking fun! You can't just sit in your room and spend your time thinking about the past.
6. Listen to music.
It's pretty cliche, but listening to music is a great help. I do not suggest the sad break-up songs, but rather a song that makes you want to dance! Any song that will lift your spirits is sure to make you feel at least a little bit better.
7. Get your mind off of things by exercising, watching television, coloring, or anything that will help.
I decided to get my mind off of this whole situation by starting "The Office" on Netflix. It's a great show and it truly helps me not think of said ex-boyfriend. I also started coloring in one of those adult coloring books created to reduce stress. It's really relaxing and it's pretty fun. I'll get around to that exercising thing, but I'm a little too busy eating my feelings!
8. Do not go "delete" happy.
The first thing I wanted to do after this heartbreak was delete all of the pictures of us and throw away all of our memories. The second I went to do it, I just couldn't. There is a reason for that. They are good memories.They're documented for a reason. It was a time of happiness. They were clearly happy times. There's nothing wrong with deleting the pictures off of your phone because it is in immediate sight, but just make sure you put them on your computer before you do. I have not deleted anything and I think that if I did, I would immediately regret my decision.
9. Don't automatically look for the next "potential" significant other.
It's seriously too soon. I know there's a saying out there that goes a little something like this: "To get over someone, you need to get under someone else." It's not philosophical, it's literal. That saying is bogus, so don't listen to it. Rebounds are never a good idea, so just chill out and wait it out. Something or someone unexpected is sure to happen to you anyway!
10. Take your time.
There have been a couple of times where I've become frustrated because I just wanted to get over this shit. Getting over the heartache really does take time. Take it day by day. The weight in your heart will get lighter and lighter every day.
11. Understand that you will be fine.
The second this break-up happened for me, I was sure that I would never be the same again. With the help of my friends and family, I've realized that I'm seriously going to be just fine. I'm only (soon) 21-years-old and I'm most likely going to go through several more break-ups. I kept saying that I have wasted two and a half years of my life, but I was wrong. It was a learning experience. I learned about myself and about what I'm looking for in my partner. I've also felt stronger than ever. I think I'm handling myself pretty well, and it all comes from knowing that I'm going to be OK.
This guide should pretty much help anyone out there going through a break-up. Things are different for everyone, but it's important to handle your break-up in some type of way. Keep your head up and stay strong.
