Breakups suck. Whether it was mutual or one-sided, your heart gets broken no matter what. Maybe you knew things were on the rocks for awhile, or maybe everything seemed perfect to you, but no matter the situation, you got hurt. In the time you spent with that person, they became your best friend. They know all of your silly little likes and dislikes, they've seen you at your best, worst, and grossest, and they loved you all the same. It may all seem bleak now, but it will get better.
1. Start going to the gym.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is go to the gym. Take your feelings and work them out in a healthy way; use the sadness and anger to fuel you. Being at the gym and feeling the burn will get those endorphins pumping, helping you to feel better. Keep going to the gym and look in a mirror, be proud of the changes you've made to yourself. A breakup is a time for self-improvement.
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2. Talk it out.
Whether it's to your mom, roommate, or a coworker, talking to someone about your heartbreak really does help mend it. Friends are always willing to give new perspectives to things, which can bring some relief. Maybe your friends noticed something about your S.O. that you didn't, or maybe they really liked them and are just as confused as you are. Whatever the case, talking it out provides you with a much needed emotional outlet.
3. Cry it out.
I'm serious, don't be afraid to cry it out. Blast some sad music and hop in the shower, no one will hear your sadness over the sound of the falling water. Its healthy to cry, so don't feel embarrassed because you need to cry. Call your mom to vent and maybe damage your iPhone with tears. Crying really does help, so don't be afraid to just let it all out.
4. Surround yourself with friends.
It's important to stay distracted after a breakup, and what's a better distraction than your friends? Your friends are sure to bring a smile to your face and take our mind off whoever your missing. Remind yourself that other people love you as well, and that you are not alone.
5. Focus on you.
Was there something you really wanted to do but couldn't because of your relationship? Maybe you wanted to travel to Europe for the summer but didn't want to leave your gf/bf behind? Well, now is the time. Do something good for yourself.
Get involved in a club you always wanted to be in but you felt like you didn't have enough time for. You now have one less responsibility than you previously did, you have more time to do whatever you want. Put yourself in new situations. Make new friends, travel to new places, get a job. Just use your new found time to do some good for yourself.
6. Be artistic.
Maybe you're not super athletic or just don't care for the gym much. In that case, try the artistic outlet. Paint your feelings onto a canvas or pick up your favorite guitar and play your feelings. Your emotions need an outlet, so why not use them to your advantage? Create something from them, it's common for beauty to arise from a mess.
7. Ask yourself what you're really mourning over.
A wise friend once told me that a majority of the mourning you do after a breakup is for the future, a future with your partner that really never existed yet. Sure, it existed in your head, but you can't let yourself mourn over what could have been. If anything, that's just a great way to screw with yourself. If you're going to be sad, be sad over what has already happened. Yes, you're allowed to be sad over the loss of your potential future with that person, but do not focus so heavily on it. The future is subject to change, and nothing was ever guaranteed.
8. Remember that life is a resilient thing.
Do not let this breakup destroy you. You are strong, and you will get past this. Do not let this breakup make you scared to ever try to be with another person again. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there, no one ever got rewarded in love for being logical and playing it safe. When the time comes, don't be afraid. Life is resilient, you will get through this hardship.
9. Work on becoming a better you.
Again, breakups are the time for self-improvement. Think about your short-comings you had during your relationship. Think about the times you were wrong or the times you did something stupid. Think about how you can become a better person. Acknowledge your weaknesses and strive towards self-improvement.
Remember to love yourself as well. If there's something you don't like about yourself, then work on changing it. If it's something you can't change about yourself, then just embrace it. The people worth keeping around are the ones who like you for you. Also, you can't really love anyone until you learn to love yourself. Learn how to be happy on your own; your relationship was not the only good thing you had going for you.
I know things seem hard right now, and they may seem like they're never going to get better, but they will, trust me. Life has a strange way of working itself out, but for now, all you can do is just keep moving forwards.
