It's the time of year where everyone is looking for roomies for next school year. If you've ever had a roommate you know it's not as easy as it sounds. Before I came to college I was convinced I would be the perfect roommate. I'm sure if you were to ask my roommate now she'll probably tell you different lol. I haven't decided if I want to continue living with my roommate next year so I thought to myself, "what could I do to make her not want to live with me next year.." I then decided to attempt to terrorize her in the nicest way possible. Here's what I came up with...
Set your morning alarm to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."
This sounds simple enough, but when you wake up to "A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh" every day for a week, it can get to you.
Vacuum your room at 8am.
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If they ask why you are vacuuming so early, tell them that you get your best work done in the morning. In my case she was just happy I was actually cleaning for once so maybe this one didn't work so well...
Offer to get them food, but then get their order wrong.
Depending on how picky your roommate is, they will either be super annoyed or grateful they didn't have to spend their dining dollars on dinner. Sometimes it's the smallest mistakes that make the biggest impact.
Buy a fish.
In this case, I have a fish of my own in my room. My roommate love him. However, I have a moss ball she detests. So I make sure to have the moss ball on the side of the tank that faces her bed. :)
Make noise and a lot of it.
Everyone has different sleep schedules. The key to this step is to learn your roommate's schedule and make yours the exact opposite. She/he wakes up at 10am for class? Well guess what, they are now going to wake up at 8am when you "accidentally" slam the door too hard on your way to class.
Hit your snooze button 10 times before you finally wake up.
Okay, I actually do this without the intention of annoying my roommate. This is probably the easiest way to get under your roommates skin. Because your roommate can't force you to get out of bed or to wake up. That's the beauty of college my friends.
Find them a girlfriend or boyfriend.
This might be a little bit of a challenge but it's a win-win for both of you. The best way to get some space and to make your roommate happy is by finding them a significant other. They will not only have a new buddy but they will hopefully spend every second of the day with them, so they'll never be in the dorm.
"Accidentally" use their things without permission.
Oh! This is YOUR mug!?! I'm sorry...I swear it looks exactly like one I have. But don't worry I'll make sure to put it in the sink and forget to wash it so you have to wash it yourself if you ever want to use it again.
Say you're hard of hearing and listen to everything extra loud.
This one is pretty easy to pull off. Say you misplaced your headphones or maybe that they ran away from you. Then proceed to listen to everything extra loud. Your new favorite genre of music is 90s punk rock and you have to listen to it every morning before class to pump yourself up. Sorry that's just how it is. *shrug*
Hoard their Netflix account.
If you have a communal TV in the common room and your roommate is logged into their Netflix then BINGO you're set. Park yourself in front of that TV, literally 24/7. Don't bother using the couch; just sit criss cross applesauce in front of the TV and enjoy a big bowl of popcorn. Binge-watch show after show and say that you are doing an "experiment" for your research class on how many shows you can binge-watch on end in one semester.
