Let’s face it, guys. Unrequited love is the worst kind of love. Unfortunately, it’s just one of the many harsh realities of life. Here are some tips on how to get over someone who’s either unavailable, or doesn’t share your feelings of attraction:
Cut off all ties with this person.
Cold turkey. Stop stalking his/her Facebook profile. Unfollow him/her on Instagram. Delete his/her Snapchat. Block his/her number. Do whatever you can in your power to erase this person from your life. There’s a psychological phenomenon called the mere exposure effect, in which one develops greater feelings of attraction towards someone the more one is exposed to them. So, if you want to stop liking a person, stop letting this person invade your life! Stop giving them your emotional and psychic energy. It’ll be very hard at first, but eventually, you will find yourself thinking less and less about this person, until he/she becomes a mere shadow of the past, a memory to be chuckled at in future years when you’re having the time of your life with your soulmate.
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Focus on personal growth.
Focus your energies on growing yourself, instead of moping over this unavailable person. Learn a new language. Pick up an instrument. Immerse yourself in your passions (and no, binge-watching Netflix does not count). Point is, you want to distract yourself from this person best you can. Why not kill two birds with one stone, and improve your personal qualities in the process?
Spend time with friends!
Going off of point #2-- distract yourself by hanging out with friends! You have so many other amazing people in your life who love and care for you, so why waste time on a single person? Honestly, friends are the best way to get over an unavailable crush. Go out to the mall, watch a movie (not a rom-com, though), plan a road trip, go to the beach, take a scenic hike! All are great distractions from “he/she who shall not be named”. And, if you ever need to vent out your sorrows, just give your best friend a call, and pour your heart and soul into the phone until the sting of rejection subsides.
Write away your pain.
When the emotions are just too much… write. Expressive writing has been proven to be therapeutic and cathartic, improving both physical and psychological health. Buy a diary or whip out a piece of paper, and bleed your emotions and pain onto your new best friend. A friend who is there for your 24/7. A friend who graciously accepts everything you say, without protest or judgement. When I was grieving over the loss of gymnastics after the career-ending knee injury, I turned to writing as my drug, my therapy. It was ultimately writing and God that saved me during an emotionally tumultuous time. Bottom line-- writing out your emotions will make you feel better and help the process of getting over someone a lot less rocky. Trust.
Exercise.
On a related note, exercise is another great means of getting out of an emotional slump. Any form of physical activity- running, swimming, dancing- will do the trick. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, a chemical that triggers a positive feeling in the body. So the next time you’re feeling down about your never-to-be significant other, get your body active! Not only will exercise make you feel better physiologically, it also does wonders for self-esteem. Read more about the positive effect of exercise on your mind and body here.
Don't burn down the entire forest for a single tree.
Ladies and gentlemen, there are 7 billion people in the world. You will find your soulmate one day, someone who loves you just as, if not more than, you love him/her. I guarantee it. So, if one person doesn’t have feelings for you, don’t take it personally. This does make you incompetent, unattractive, or unworthy of love. It simply means that this person doesn’t share your feelings. And that’s okay! Just keep searching. Or, look right in front of you-- there may be a budding romance right before your eyes that you've been blind to this whole time...
