One of my favorite quotes of all time is “If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it wasn’t. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”
I remember when my mom first told a variation of this quote to me. I was 18, still in love with someone who didn’t love me anymore, and I didn’t quite know what to do. When you decided that it’s time to let someone that you love go, the heartbreak that follows can last much longer than expected. A
lmost three years later and it still stings a little that I had to say goodbye to in reality the only boy I’d ever loved. The song “Let Her Go” by Passenger hits it head on when in the following lyric: “Only know you love her when you let her go… and you let her go.”
You see, sometimes we can tie people down. Obstacles get in the way of being together, people fall in love with someone else, or they choose to move halfway across the world… life just happens to the best of us.
However, I’m a strong believer that God puts people in our lives for a reason to teach us a lesson that only they can teach us. Just because they won’t be in your life forever doesn’t mean that the handprint they imprinted on your heart won’t be there for the rest of your life.
To put it short, letting go of the person you love sucks and sometimes it seems as though there’s not a single thing that can take the pain away. With that being said, you can’t let the heartbreak of losing someone you love keep you from living your life. You have to pick yourself up, get back on track, and move on with your life.
Time is of the essence.
This can perhaps be the most painful, but I promise time can heal almost anything. It can take days, weeks, years… it can even take a lifetime for some people. You have to allow time for your wounds to heal. If you don’t then you’re never going to be able to move on with your life or even get the closure that you deserve.
Time will heal your wounds, but it will always leave a scar. Let your scar remind you that you will be hurt again, but you’re tough and you can get through the heartbreak.
Put yourself back out there.
I don’t necessarily mean that you need to find someone else to be romantically involved with, but just finding a new friend can help open so many doors and make you forget about the person who you had to let go in the first place.
Trust me, you don’t want to have a rebound. It’s not fair to the person you’re rebounding with and it’s not really fair for your heart to try to cover up the pain with a temporary Band-Aid. The person you let go of gave you a reason to let go. Find someone to give you a reason to hang on.
Remember why you decided to let the person go.
There was obviously a reason you came to the conclusion that you needed to cut someone out of your life. You need to take into serious consideration if this person was toxic in your life or if you or if they just need some time to figure out what they want in the relationship or in life.
Maybe one day they will be able to come back into your life, but I recommend making a pro and con list of that person and what you love and dislike about them. I know it sounds very cliché and high schoolish, but it works.
Sometimes our brains can over think with all of our thoughts and feelings, so seeing it on paper on why you're possibly choosing to let them go (or bring them back into your life) helps so much.
Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean you won't find love again someday.
I myself am very guilty of this mindset. I’ve had so many heartbreaks and “almost lovers” that I really convinced myself for a while that maybe love just isn’t for me. I’m telling you now, don’t stop believing in fairytales and happily ever after.
Love really is a powerful thing. It’s almost like magic and it’s very unpredictable. I just find it hard to believe that out of the billions of people in this world that not one would ever love me. Just wait on love, because I promise it will come to you when you least expect it.
With all of that being said, letting go of someone is truly the most painful heartbreak I have ever experienced. Just because the person you love isn’t in your life anymore and they choose not to come back doesn’t mean that the love you once had with them wasn’t extraordinary love.
It just simply wasn’t meant to last forever… and that’s okay. One day you’ll find love that will last forever, and that will be extraordinary love.
