As an introduction, understand that no matter how bad you need an apology to forgive someone, you may never get it. Don't hold your breath and learn what steps to take to allow yourself to move on.
Step 1: Acknowledge your true feelings about the situation
GiphyBe honest with yourself; you don't have to keep your walls up 24/7 take the time to be vulnerable. You can take this step on your own or reach out to one of your good friends to vent to. Its okay to be upset, its okay to cry it out and not be good. By going through this phase, if you choose to re discuss the situation with the person, you will be able to come about it calmer and not turn it into an argument of right or wrong but instead an understanding of each other feelings.
Step 2: Understand that sometimes its not your fault
GiphyI used to definitely be one to blame myself first, but I had to learn that sometimes others are at fault. More likely than not you were never the problem. People that are at fault can sometime turn it around on you and make their actions justified. Don't apologize for something you didn't do, but of course if your in the wrong acknowledge that.
Step 3: Distance yourself from the negativity that person brings
Get Out Goodbye GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyBy staying connected to that person you aren't doing yourself a favor. Some things are much easier to let go of than hang on to. If you stay connected to this person, it could typically mean that you are blaming yourself for the problem and what they did it okay. THAT ISNT PROPER FORGIVENESS. You would overall be weakening yourself and settling for a friendship or relationship you don't deserve. Even if you forgive someone that doesn't mean you have to keep a relationship with them.
Step 4: You do not have to forgive them
Sometimes its hard to forgive people, but even if you don't, you have to let the situation go. By continuing to dwell on it, you are repeatedly going through those negative emotions. You may never forgive them, but at least give yourself the peace of mind you need.
Step 5: How to actually forgive
GiphyYou have to address the person on what they did wrong, they aren't going to know unless you tell them. Its always going to be a hard conversation but this isn't for them this is for you. The conversation is your closure; this is what gets you to move on and doesn't leave anything left unsaid. NEVER HAVE THIS CONVERSATION OVER THE PHONE!! I can't stress this enough that having the conversation in person in so important. Having it over the phone give the person an opportunity to hang up, or not give their full attention. You must be prepared for this conversation though. The person could have NO remorse, could yell, or could even walk away, but doesn't that show how much they really respected you in the first place?
Step 6: Time to forget it
GiphyThis is the moving on process, once everything is said and done you can keep thinking about it. Don't spread your business everywhere and tell everyone. It should just be between you and the other person, having other peoples opinion in it will affect your process of moving on. Soon enough you will forget about it and you and the other person will go about y'alls business just fine.
