Falling on your butt, failing, losing, missing, or underachieving: you are bound to experience all of these several times in your life. Maybe you made a complete idiot of yourself at an important event. Maybe you got fired or got in trouble at work. Maybe you got caught lying to your family. Maybe you completely aren't speaking to someone you love. Maybe you got dumped. Maybe you picked an argument just because you were upset. When any of these mishaps occur, it is normal to feel down on yourself. The truth is we all make mistakes. It's not so much about trying not to screw up, because honestly that is impossible; It really is all about how you pick yourself up after you fall down. So get off your a** and get up! (I mean that lovingly.)
Feel what you want to feel.
I am a affirm believer in doing what feels right for you. No one (not even adorable little me) can know you better than you know yourself. If you know trying to distract yourself by going out will only make you feel worse, then don't go out. Stay home and cry until you run out of sad songs to listen to on your playlist. If you need to be angry, be angry. Swear, yell, scream, freak out until you don't feel that weight in your heart anymore! Don't let society tell you that you have to move on or fix everything by a certain time. You are allowed to be as sad as you want for as long as you want. If your heart is hurting, let yourself hurt. Denying yourself the opportunity to grieve only makes harder to pick yourself up. You'll start feeling better in time, but that time doesn't have to be today.
Take advantage of your resources.
I am someone who hates dealing with my endless overthinking alone, so I call friends, family, and anyone willing to listen. My aunt is the type of person that will listen and discuss things with me for hours if that is what I need. That is something I always take advantage of when I am struggling. Maybe you don't want to talk, you just want to get out your frustrations by going on the run or working out. If going to the gym will help you express your anger, then budget money for a gym membership or make a commitment to running daily. Maybe traditional outlets aren't working. There is no shame in wanting to talk to a professional. In all honesty, I talk to someone because I want to know and love me, but I don't think I could do that without her tools. Sometimes we can't just pick ourselves up, we need a helping hand! And that's OK!
Fix problem areas in your life (that existed before your fall).
Before life as you knew it changed, had you developed a problem with unhealthy eating? Did you become lazy and disorganized? Did you stop taking care of or treating yourself? Sometimes we become so consumed with fixing the biggest problem in our lives, we forget about all the small ones. The truth is the big problems take time to heal. In the mean time, it feels so good to fix the "little things." For me, something as simple as cleaning creates an environment I am happy with which actually makes me happier. I still am hurting, but I am fulfilling a desire to live an organized life; therefore, I feel more content with my life. Fixing all the little issues in your life can also make it easier to bring people back into your life. A friendship might have been strained by your intense schedule. Maybe, you get better at managing your time, and suddenly when you make up with your friend, you are able to function better without that issue. When we fix the things that bother us in life, we are able to stand back up even if we still haven't solved all our issues.
Take responsibility for your mistakes and then forgive yourself.
Maybe you shouldn't have exploded on your coworker for screwing up, because God knows you've messed up way worse before! We all act like a-holes sometimes, but that doesn't make us a-holes. Own your mistake, apologize for your behavior, and learn from what you did. Maybe, you are that person that picks fights because you are simply upset. Acknowledge that you can be that way and correct your actions by finding a new way to channel your feelings. Once again, you are never too old to make mistakes. You are never too mature to be immature. And you are never too smart to act like a fool.
Believe that time will only make you grow.
Maybe you lost your job, and you aren't quite sure how you can become a better worker. Maybe you are failing a class required for your major, and you realize this isn't the area of study may not be for you. It is OK to be unsure of where to go next. Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable; these are the times you learn the most about yourself. If you lose someone you love, I always find it comforting to remember that if something is meant to be it will be. It can be hard for some people to admit this, but you are only in control of your actions in life, not anyone else's. If we try to control each other or change each other, we will only hurt each other. Time will make people change because life forces us to grow and adapt. Maybe you can't work for that company right now; you are too young and inexperienced. However, in two years maybe you'll have done some internships and learned enough to be a successful employee. Maybe you can't be with that person right now; you both have grow and find yourself apart from that relationship. However, if you both end up growing together then embrace that destiny did the work for you. When we let go, and stop trying to control the uncontrollable, we can rejoice in what tomorrow may bring.
