We have now reached that point of the year when everything is red, fluffy, and/or heart-shaped. Valentine’s Day has gotten an increasingly negative review over the last few years, as it is a pretty commercialized event. Girls see it as an opportunity for a nice date and guys see it as a frivolous and binding chore. And I get that. As humans, we get SO caught up in the dinner, the presents, the entire public display of “look how much we love each other” that we miss what it is really about: THAT WE LOVE EACH OTHER.

Relationships nowadays have gotten really lazy about pursuit. We think that once we’ve made it Facebook official we don’t have to try anymore, just post the occasional picture and text constantly. And as long as we have a bomb Valentine's Day with a ridiculously giant teddy bear all is swell. Yet we couldn't be more wrong. And guys I’m not trying to play the blame game but it is usually y’all who slack off.

Guys, pursuit is what keeps the love going. Even when you’ve got her heart in your palm, you need to keep fighting to keep it. Otherwise, you’ll drop it and she’ll be left trying to compensate for you. Go about every day trying to win her over. That may sound crazy, but it is SO easy. Forget texting and go straight to an actual conversation to tell her how special she is and how beautiful she looks. Express why you love her and how you want to prove that to her. Flowers are great also. Or letters. Yes, definitely letters.

And ladies, we cannot slack off either. I know that’s really not in our genetic makeup but let’s pretend. Your man needs to know that you adore him and everything he does for you. This is the man who makes you feel safe and precious, and even a tough guy needs a reminder of that every now and then. We expect so much from guys that sometimes we forget that we are called to love and serve him, too. Guys are guys, so they’re not going to do something unless they’re pushed to do it. That means you need to support him, pray for him, and lovingly push him towards buying you that necklace.

So with that in mind, how should we do Valentine’s Day? Don’t fall into the commercialized chaos. Guys, this is your prime opportunity to revamp your pursuit. Plan a date for the two of you, dinner being the obvious choice, and cater it to what she likes. Extravagant gifts or crazy public displays are not at all required. Just do something for her.

That’s how we should look at Valentine’s Day, to do something for our special person. That’s what pursuit is, right? Use this dramatic day as a way to express all of those feelings that you’ve neglected to address in everyday life. Set aside that time to do it right. And maybe you will see just how easy it is to make someone feel loved.

Now I don’t want to neglect my singles out there. What should y’all do? To be honest, up until I got my boyfriend my dad would treat me to a “daddy-daughter” date every year around Valentine’s Day and he treated me as I should be treated by my future beau. He wanted me to have accurate standards for the man who will one day replace him. If that is not to your taste, there is always the friend date option. You could always get a group of friends and draw names to pay for someone else--that way everyone gets that feeling of being treated to a meal. Then you can laugh and make fun of all the sappy couples around you.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be depressing OR overwhelming. Let it be a day that is rooted in intentional love, as well as a wake up call that every day should be. We shouldn’t put so much stock in it. Relationships were designed for love. We are covered in love from the Father and it is our joy to love each other the same day. So spend your day with the one you love doing what you love. Pursue her, love him, serve each other, and do it all for the glory of Him who put you together. We are built on love baby, so don’t forget about it.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14