I've never really been one for celebrating New Year's Eve. The holiday always seemed so inane to me. The entire world literally makes a big deal about a clock doing what it does every other stinking day of the year. People hype it up to the point of ridiculousness. It doesn't help that movies and TV shows like to make such a big deal out of it. According to the media, if you don't follow these rules for celebrating New Year's Eve, you might very well need to get your head examined.

1. Unless you're in New York City on the big night don't bother celebrating.

2. You should be crucified if you think it is stupid to sit around for hours waiting for a crystal ball to drop.

3. If you don't have some sort of cathartic experience or grand revelation just before the ball drops, then you're doing New Year's Eve wrong.

4. A kiss at midnight doesn't count unless it makes your foot pop.

5. If nobody at your party sings "Auld Lang Syne," then you have to question whether or not New Year's Eve actually even happened.

6. All that matters is finding someone to be with at midnight, even if that means getting together with an unlikely companion (take Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron, for example).

7. If you don't end up with someone at midnight, you're destined to be alone for the rest of the year.

8. On New Year's Eve, there is no God. There is only Ryan Seacrest.

9. If you don't believe those sunglasses in the shape of the year are the bomb diggity, then you obviously know nothing.

10. You're kidding yourself if you think people eat anything but Chinese takeout on New Year's Eve.

11. New Year's Eve is basically the only day out of the year that you can make a resolution to better yourself. If you try to make a change after January 1, it doesn't count.