How To Deal With The Friend Who Isn't Really Your Friend | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

How To Deal With The Friend Who Isn't Really Your Friend

We all have that one person we're forced to call a friend. Here's how to escape that toxic relationship.

11
How To Deal With The Friend Who Isn't Really Your Friend

We all have that one friend. The one who you're only friends with because they're friends with all of your friends. You don't love them, you don't even necessarily like them, but you have to be around them all of the time because you have the same friends. It's easy to feel trapped in a relationship with someone you don't really click with when you risk losing your other friends. Here's how to escape that relationship and find true, meaningful friendships.

Stop seeking their approval. It's as simple as that. Stop trying to be impressive in their eyes. Stop trying to be someone they would be jealous of. Stop worrying so much about what they think of you. Stop trying to out-dress them and out-think them. They're not your friend and they're not your enemy. At the end of the day, they don't care whether you succeed or fail. Why try so hard to impress them when they don't care one way or the other? Once you stop worrying about what they think of you, it becomes so much easier to be around them. You no longer feel anxious about what you eat, the car you drive, or the clothes you wear. They're not your true friend so don't give them the satisfaction of controlling your life.

Talk to them. There is no harm in admitting that you don't get along. If you know it, they know it, and your friends know it; there is no reason you can't say it out loud. You don't have to be their best friend and they don't have to be yours. If you're scared you will lose the friends you share then find a way to make peace with the person who pushes you away from your friends.

Odds are this person probably reminds you a lot of yourself and that's why you don't get along. They're probably just as tense and anxious around you as you are around them. You may be neck-in-neck with this person and feel pressure to win certain arguments or have certain friends on your side. Not only is that toxic to yourself, it's harmful to the friendships that you are trying not to lose. Don't make your friends choose.

Accept that you two were not meant to be close friends. If you were supposed to be BFF's you'd have friendship bracelets by now. Accept that they're not your best friend and the situation immediately becomes more tolerable. You have other friends. You have a best friend. Even when you feel like this other person is taking your best friend away from you, they're not. The relationship you have with your best friend and their relationship with your best friend is completely different and that is a very good thing. You will not lose your best friend because they occasionally go to dinner with this other person and don't invite you.

We all have that one person we are forced to call our "friend." You don't have to like them, you don't have to be their best friend, but you have to find a way to be around them. By accepting that you will never be best friends, ending all competitiveness between the two of you, and not seeking their approval, you are taking the control they have over your life away and making it a better situation for everyone.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

10 Thoughts Of A 5th Year Senior

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

181
college shirt
pointsincase.com

"College will be the best four years of your life" is a phrase that we have all heard growing up. College is painted as a magical place to us while we are in high school. A place you go to learn, meet your best friends and probably have the time of your life while all of this is going down. Four whirlwind years, where everything that you've known changes and you start to learn what it means to live on your own, have a job, etc. But what about those of us who don't do this all in four years? Major changes, hard courses, switching schools, career paths changing, these are just a handful of factors that could extend your four years to five, six or seven. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to graduate, but returning as a fifth-year is a little different. Most of your best friends have most likely graduated and moved and while you may be one of the oldest undergraduates on campus, you might feel as awkward as a freshmen. A world that became home and comfortable to you is still there but it's slightly different than you've known it to be and you have to find a groove to fall into. These are thoughts you'll have as you look ahead to returning to your college campus, with a victory lap planned.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Times Aubrey Plaza Described Sophomore Year

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

103
Aubrey Plaza
Flickr Creative Commons

Aubrey Plaza is one of my favorite humans in Hollywood. She's honest, blunt, unapologetic, and hilarious. I just started my sophomore year of college, and found that some of her best moments can accurately describe the start of the school year.

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

Keep Reading...Show less
graduation

Things you may not realize are different between high school and college:

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

20 Things You Forgot To Thank Your Mom For

Moms are super heroes dressed in yesterday's clothing and they deserve an award for that.

1443
family
Facebook

Dear Mom,

You took care of me and my brothers our entire lives and you still continue to! I will not be able to truly grasp all of the hard work that you put into this family until I create my own one day. But, I know that there are plenty of times I forgot to give you a simple thank you or an appreciative smile. I thank you for everything that you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Here are some examples of those times where you had my back and I forgot to pat your back for saving me:

Keep Reading...Show less
pumpkin
Holytaco.com

College is hard. As people ages 18-22, we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing with our lives, our careers, our eating habits, exercise routines, sleep patterns, and other necessities for adult life. We definitely don’t take proper care of ourselves; it’s basically impossible when we have essays, tests and readings due and somehow we’re supposed to eat right, exercise and sleep. We’re doomed to get sick. I have zero experience in science but when I get sick there are certain things I do to make myself better.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments