“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”
- Azar Nafisi, reading Lolita in Tehran
(Taken from goodreads.com)
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This quote is a perfect string of words to describe the feeling I have every time I leave my hometown to return to school. Even though I'm going into my third year of college, I can't help but feel this weird pit in my stomach. It feels like I'm closing yet another chapter in my life. If I'm really thinking about it, it feels like every year is changing and evolving slowly, but surly. Sometimes it seems like time is going so really slow, but if I stop and think about it, things can not be changing any faster. My circle of friends get smaller and smaller by the year, I grow further from my parents and siblings, and I become more financial independent even though it feels like I'm not making enough money to do so. It's a weird feeling to feel as if you're leaving so many memories behind, so many people, and time you can just never get back. It leaves a haze of memories from the past summer buzzing around in your head, and you can't decide if you're sad to leave again or happy to move on and grow older.
Even though some of these things seem sad and maybe a little negative, it is important to reflect on the progress you have made and goals you have reached in the few years that have passed. In doing so, I have made it a point to try new things, engage myself in more activities, and most of all, practice self love as the years have gone on. I can say proudly that I barely recognize the girl I was two or three years ago. Back then, I was much lazier, I stayed in my comfort zone with everything, and I was very doubtful of myself. I had no idea what I wanted to pursue in life, leaving me confused and sad every time I tried to picture myself in the future. Also, since then, I have surrounded myself with positive, uplifting friends that make me a better person. I have realize how important it is to surround yourself with people who have the same values and goals as you. Additionally, I have came to the conclusion that it is so important to never remain stagnant in life. Don't stop at "good enough". Keep working and moving up in life.
I have found that self reflecting is so beneficial to my mental state, and I encourage everyone to do so. Whenever you're feeling sad about moving on, leaving for somewhere, or starting a new year, think about how far you've came and all the positive things that await.
"The world is your oyster."
Seriously, it is. Start to pursue the things you love and you'll find happiness and peace within yourself.
