It has happened to everyone. You grow apart from your old friends, and relationships can end suddenly or even abruptly. No matter how it happened, it still can hurt for the both of you, especially if you were very close to that person.
Let's look at this scenario:
One of your best friend texts you and tells you that you can’t be friends. It’s out of the blue and a complete shock, and your first response is, "What on earth?!" You think, "Did I do something recently that pushed her over the edge? What is this nonsense? It doesn’t make any sense; wewere finebefore! Nothing happened and we didn’t fight!" This was a personal experience of mine. I didn't understand how even though I was extremely close to Sally*, she threw our friendship away like it was nothing. Texting someone to end a friendship is pretty immature; who does that? I attempted to talk to her to understand why she didn't want to be friends anymore; however, she was unreasonable and difficult. That's when I had my epiphany or shining moment. I realized that I didn't want to have someone in my life who couldn't "handle" me or would take things out on me due to her other problems. Sometimes it doesn’t make any sense. People can be immature in the way that they deal with things. It could be that someone is stressed out with other things in their life, so they decide to hash it out on you.
Sally* got jealous and possessive to the point that she wouldn’t like it if I hung out with her friends without her. Apparently I couldn’t be friends with her friends, which should have been a warning flag straight off, but I didn’t realize it at the time. Sally was a very emotional person who could be very challenging at times due to her passive-aggressiveness. I'd never know if I did something that upset her, because she would never voice it. Although we were different and did not have the same beliefs, I felt that we could still be good friends, because if everyone were the same it’d be a boring world. She claimed to be very open and accepting of others' beliefs, but she would try to fight and argue with me if I ever disagreed with her instead of being accepting.
This girl and I were best friends; I’ve cleaned up her puke and taken care of her for everything from her crying about her boyfriend to problems with school. Of course I didn’t see this coming. The worst feeling to have is feeling as though you meant nothing to someone, when you thought you did because you cared about him or her. It’s like a breakup, but worse because it’s a friendship that has ended.
Let me tell you, people like this aren't worth it at all. They’re not even worth your thoughts.If someone doesn’t see the value of your friendship, they don’t deserve you.Real friends don’t leave when life gets rough, they stick by you and work things out. No one just leaves when they feel like it, or if they’re just “stressed out.” That’s not a friendship you want. Real friends are so hard to find nowadays. Why can’t we just shop for friends? That’d be extremely convenient. You can end up feeling betrayed or you’ll think that something is wrong with you. But no, it’s not you, and it never was you – it was them. They don’t deserve you, and you wouldn’t want someone like that in your life. It’s always good to be cautious around people and keep your heart guarded so you don’t get hurt. There are plenty of times where people will leave you, whether you see it coming or not. But you'll always get over it, and it’s okay. People come and go for a reason, and it will make your life better. You need to forgive and forget to be able to move on with your life. Of course, that's much easier said than done, but it isn't impossible. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life, and not everyone is worth it. You have to pick and choose who really matters and who values you just as much as you value them. The people that leave you don't matter (they never did), and them leaving you should be considered as a blessing. Do not put your self-worth upon other people; your true friends should be the ones that help guide and support you in everything that you do, rather than the ones who tear you down.
How do you deal with the people who walk out on you?
The best way to deal with people who walk out on you is by focusing on yourself.This applies to ended relationships and friendships. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Start focusing on yourself, and love yourself. You are awesome. Work out, have a spa day, hang out with your other friends, find a new hobby, meet new people. It’ll hurt for a little, but just remember your good memories that you shared with that person. During that relationship or friendship, there’s bound to be at least some good times. Reminisce on them as much as you can, and then let them go. When you have someone in your life who is always negative and you don't feel as though you can be yourself around them, they are toxic. With this, you have toxicity in your life, which is never helpful. Once someone walks out on you, you might feel unimportant – but you shouldn't. Anyone who has left you is probably someone you wouldn't want in your life, because the fact that they would leave you shows that they don't care about you and maybe never did. Who wants someone like that? Don't lower your standards.
- Write a goodbye letter. Letters are very therapeutic, and you don’t even have to give it to that person. Writing out how you feel is a great way to deal with the situation and to let go of your frustration. Write anything that you want to say to that person, and then just rip it up when you’re done. You will most certainly feel better.
- Throw away things that remind you of that person. This is more for relationships, but it can apply to ended friendships as well. If you get rid of things that remind you of them, it can help you to forget. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Delete them on social media. This is also a part of out of sight, out of mind. You don't want to see anything that is happening in their life. It doesn't matter to you anymore, and you'll get over it faster if you delete them.
- Time is the best medicine. It seems cliché, but it's true. Everything gets better in time, and eventually you won't even think about it – or if you do, it won't hurt anymore. As time passes, you'll end up forgetting things, and you'll get over it.
- Find a new hobby. Treat yourself! Have some fun and let loose. Go out and party with your other friends; meet new people; create new hobbies. You deserve the best of the best. The more you preoccupy yourself, the less you'll think about your old friendship, and soon enough it won't even enter your mind.
