So last week, I gave a few tips on how to help keep a long distance relationship going strong. Care packages, letters, going to you SO's events, yadda yadda. This time around, I'm going to focus on the TRULY important emotional aspects that can strengthen a relationship. No, nothing "intimate", I'm not writing for Cosmo (although, ladies, to be clear, regardless of what Cosmo said, doughnuts are only meant to be eaten and not used for....ANY OTHER PURPOSE). These final two tips are helpful to keep the emotional aspect of your relationship strong, even if you're both miles away from each other.
KEEP THE CUTE THINGS ALIVE
Every relationship will reach a point where it tends to go on some kind of auto-pilot. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you and the person you've chosen to date have reached a kind of synthesis, a system that only encircles you, and a schedule that you both keep going on. In my case, my girlfriend works everyday and gets off around 5:50-6pm. This means that i'll get a phone call around then, and we'll talk about how our days have gone so far. That is a set in stone schedule, and I keep to it 9 times out of 10.
I'm not saying that going on autopilot is a bad thing. My SO has been working hard trying to graduate, and I've been trying to find a job, so our schedules sometimes have small conflicts, but the main things are still in place. It's a successful formula, and it works.
HOWEVER, this does not mean that a relationship needs to stay on autopilot. If there were any cute things that you and your SO did (that weren't overtly obnoxious), don't stop doing them, because it seems a lot of the time that those are the first things to go in a long distance relationship. However, the small things are sometimes very important, and if they include things like phrases or cute names that are shared between you and your SO, don't abandon them just because you've reached a synthesis. Even if they only pop up once in a while, don't forget about them. Don't overly use them either, but don't forget them. They may show your SO that you still love them as much (if not more) than you did when you first began this life journey together.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
BE PATIENT, AND BE SUPPORTIVE
Every couple is going to argue. Every couple is going to have moments where they think their SO is absolutely insane. And every couple are going to say or do things that get on their partner's VERY LAST NERVE. These are facts.
However, this doesn't mean that the relationship is terrible or you need to date someone else. A strong relationship is about flexibility and compromise, and patience with your SO is a cornerstone to a strong and lasting romance (THIS GOES BOTH WAYS, FOLKS). If your SO is going through some rough patches, like they're still in college, or they're in a job they hate, etc, be PATIENT with them. Stress and anxiety make us say and do things that we'd normally never utter, so be understanding if your partner comes off as a bit tense during their rough times. Keep them going to their finish line, whether it's graduation or a better job. DO NOT give them deadlines or ultimatums. Those kill relationships.
Finally, support your partner. I'm not meaning financially or anything like that (although that does well for brownie points). Instead, support their decisions and dreams and pursuits. If your SO wants to be a writer but has to work a dead-end job for a bit, don't tell them to give up on their passion just to make money. Keep their spirit up if it starts to falter and encourage him/her to keep going. If your SO has a dream business they want to run, start sketching it out. Put aside small amounts of money or start looking for properties you could flip and turn into the business. Make connections with other businesses and get advice. If your SO has a dream, don't let them EVER give it up. Keep them grounded when they need to be grounded, but help them reach for the stars if they begin to flounder. You and your partner both have a light inside that burns brightest when you are together. Do what you can, both you AND your SO to keep those lights bright, and your relationship and life will be a happy and successful one.
I know that these tips may seem a bit hippyish to some, but they've helped me. If you find them able to help your situation, then go for it, and I wish you many happy memories and lives.
But seriously, don't listen to Cosmo, ladies. Just don't.
