Life isn't measured in the breaths we take, it's measured in the likes we get. So read the tips below to improve your quality of life.
Candid photos: Everyone knows smiling in pictures is so overdone. I mean, what is this, the '90s? A mediocre photo of you and a friend smiling on a couch can instantly be transformed into an ad for a sitcom about a group of girlfriends just by forcing a little fake laughter as you look away from the camera. You could be the chosen one and happen to get a few legitimately candid shots while photographing your friends, but 99 percent of the time they’re staged. Who needs to be surrounded by your loved ones in a room roaring with laughter when you could just double tap it instead?
Props: Prop use is a tricky one. Everyone loves a good prop, it adds a new element to the photo. I mean TV shows actually have people whose job is to deal with the props on set; everyone eats this stuff up. The key is to not pose with the object, but act as if it was there by happenstance. Don’t let your followers know you bought a pineapple from Publix on your beach trip solely for the Insta-tunity — make them believe you were in the middle of cutting up some fresh pineapple for your morning smoothie and thought it would be spontaneous and cute to put the pineapple on your head, when a bystander happened to snap a photo. Other prop ideas include: putting your eyes through the holes of donuts, wrapping streamers around yourself, acting surprised under a rainstorm of confetti, and the new summer fad of floats shaped like animals or food.
Wear sunglasses: Catch the eyes of those mundane individuals scrolling through their feed with a pair of reflective, colored lenses. By wearing sunglasses you give off the impression that you're so mysterious you don't want us to see what lies in your eyes. If your followers don't gather that from your sunglasses, they'll at least think you're outdoorsy, carefree, and refuse to let the burning UV rays of the sun get in your way. Don't forget to make sure people see your sunglasses label, because nothing says summer like "look how expensive my sunglasses are".
Significant other appearances: You must not cross the fine line of posting with your "boo" too much, but if it's done correctly, those of you with bfs, gfs, or even crushes could generate your highest likes. Everyone is drawn to things that remind them of how lonely they are, why do you think Tinder and "The Bachelor" are so popular? If not that, happy couples will see some of themselves in your photo, causing definite likage and maybe even a heart-eyes emoji comment. Even if you and said bae in the photo aren't dating, it's enough to spark rumors, which in turn, will spark likes. Causing "Did you see that ____ Instagrammed ___? Are they a thing?" texts to go out in friend group messages will force people to look at your pic, and fill that empty heart with some red.
Post with someone who gets a lot of likes themselves or is generally a very well-liked person: You don't have to be close friends, just close enough that it wouldn't be weird for you two to pose together. Another option for this is a sibling who is also popular, or very attractive. Sure, it may not be you that's drawing followers in, but who cares why you get the likes, as long as you get a lot of them?
Clever captions: Have a picture that you think is cute but know won't perform well when posted? Use a witty caption. Putting a funny, sarcastic, clever or punny caption on an average photo is like throwing out a life raft to reel your lost snapshot back to shore. Ideas for such captions include and are not limited to: song lyrics, celebrity references, mentions of popular television shows, cool teen slang such as "squad" or "lit," or a pun that doesn't make others cringe.
Throwbacks: These work for one of two reasons. One, you were a really cute baby, or did something really cute as a baby that your mom happened to capture on camera despite the lack of existence of smart phones, or two, you went through painfully awkward pubescent years, preferably with a friend that your followers know as well, and share the photo to receive likes out of hilarity, or pity.
What to steer clear from:
Food Instas: Come on, if you really want to share your food that badly post it to your Snapchat Story. Food-grams only get a little likes, and a lot of eye-rolls.
Birthday Grams: Okay, I know we all feel obligated to prove our friendship with someone by posting on social media for their birthday. But, if you do this, prepare yourself for a very low like amount, and a barrage of comments by followers wishing said friend a happy birthday — and you'll get notifications for each one.
Pet pictures: Unless it's you and a puppy, don't expect a big response. Not everyone thinks your dog is as cute as you do. So, to save yourself from social media failure, do what everyone else does and start a social media account for your dog. That way, you can let those who actually want to see the pictures (your mom or 12-year-olds with Insta names like "doglover34"), see them without bothering everyone else.
Scenery: Unless it's The Eiffel Tower, no one will be too impressed with your "photography" skills of landmarks and scenery. So, don't waste your time.
So remember, love may fade, but likes last forever.
