Like the old song says, “breaking up is hard to do,” and it truly is. Spending time with someone and getting to know them and then suddenly being separated from them is heart breaking. You may become emotionally invested in someone for them to leave or things to not work out. You’ll miss their smile or the things they said, and before you know it, you’re suffering from post-break up blues. It’s a hard reality in life that sometimes the people you love the most are the ones who weren’t meant to stick around. But as hard as that reality is, it’s important to remember that life doesn’t end when romance does. Yes, breaking up sucks but we have to learn to move on and grow, and let the other person grow as well.

It’s good to remember that you should treat your ex-partner with the same love and respect you treated them during your entire relationship. Don’t post nasty comments about them, don’t tell others how horrible they are because at one point you thought the opposite. Do not go around telling other people things that your partner told you in confidence. Just because your relationship is over, it does not mean that it is a time to go and make each other look bad. The best thing to do is try to better yourself and learn to be single after your break up. Don’t jump into another relationship or look for a rebound. The worst thing you can do is translate your feelings of brokenness to someone else in attempt to cover your own pain.

Remember that no matter what the break up was over, you are not a lesser person. Break ups aren’t always smooth, sometimes they’re rocky and nasty and people get hurt multiple times, even after the initial split. Disregard the negative comments people say while angry. People blurt out nonsense and hurtful things when they are upset, and even if they’re being truthful, don’t take what someone says out of anger to heart. If your ex said nasty things about you to break up with you, forget it. Forget what they say and don’t let it haunt you. Don’t let it make you bitter and reject every future relationship because of one person who wanted to hurt you.

Handle a break up with maturity and grace. Don’t trash talk your ex, don’t call their new partner bad names, don’t speak badly about their family, but also don’t take for granted what time you spent with them. Being in a relationship with someone is a great thing and you share many special moments with that person. No matter how the relationship went, everything you went through was an experience that shaped the person you are today. One relationship can shape the way you act in your future relationships, don’t take it for granted. Breaking up is hard to do, but it is definitely something that you can get through. Keep on going, even if you do have to listen to sad songs for a little while.