If you were hoping to read this and find out how to capture a huge, white, furry mammal, you’ve come to the wrong place. This is all about capturing something far more difficult, a Great White Buffalo. Now, what is a Great White Buffalo you might ask? They are probably the most magical, mystical, sometimes unattainable creatures that roam the earth. They’re in your general psychology class, they work the counter at your local movie theater or perhaps they’re your best friend whom you’ve secretly been in love with since you can remember.

For those of you reading who may still have some questions about what exactly is a GWB let me just give it to your straight. Great White Buffalo [noun]: This is your one true love or the one that got away. Now in some cases, a GWB could be someone whom you’ve been around for a while and quite possibly be in love with but have no clue what their name is but that’s okay. I am going to give you three very realistic situations to help you capture your GWB.

1. Your Great White Buffalo is in your Psych class

If this is your case you’re in luck, this is the easiest of the three. So you’ve been in class for a couple weeks now, and you’ve had your eye on this person (your GWB). You don’t know their name, and I’m guessing you’ve never spoken more than a couple words to them, if at all. In all cases of capturing a GWB, you need courage and confidence. Sit next to them during class one day and pray for group work. Do this for a couple of classes. Next, discuss topics regarding class, not only does this get the conversations going but you’re probably not paying that much attention to class in the first place. By this point in time, you should be able to determine whether or not this GWB is worth pursuing.

2. Your Great White Buffalo is the hottie at the concession counter

If you and I are the same person, we both go to the movies on a pretty regular basis, especially if there is a total babe that sells popcorn with the perfect amount of salt and butter. Besides courage and confidence, you’ll need money. If you’re serious about catching your GWB then you’re going to have to stop sneaking in your own refreshments. For the best results, make your way to the candy counter when the lines are minimal. Otherwise, you won’t have optimal flirt time. Stay calm, cool, and collected and keep track of time. You’re paying ten dollars for a movie, and you don’t want to miss it. For starters ask about the deals going on, keep a smile on your face. They will ask if you want to upgrade, yes. They’ll ask if you want candy, duh (it’s candy.) After a couple of movies and paychecks later, you and your GWB will be watching movies together.

3. Your Great White Buffalo is your best friend

I’m going to be real honest here, this one is tough and results may vary. If you’ve been permanently placed in the friend-zone, I send my condolences. However, for those of you walking the fine line of the friend zone, pay close attention and best of luck to you. The best way to get your GWB is to tell them. That’s right. Tell them. Crazy, I know, but it’s best to stop wasting your time with measly Snapchats and texts here and there. What’s that saying? Grab life by the horns? Well, I’m almost positive buffalos have horns.

Now I am no matchmaker but I do know a thing or two about Great White Buffaloes. I wish you all the best of luck on your journey and don’t worry you don’t need a license to hunt these.