How to Buy Condoms (And Look Cool While Doing It) | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

How to Buy Condoms (And Look Cool While Doing It)

Sometimes it can be tough to be your normal, cool, suave self while buying protection.

Holden J. Bernstein
Jan 22, 2018
Boston
674
How to Buy Condoms (And Look Cool While Doing It)
Pexels

Step 1: Enter the drug store

Dramatically, of course.

"


Step 2: Sneakily tip-toe to the "family planning" aisle

Because that's how the cool folks do it.


Step 3: Pick out your favorite box

Want an intravaginal condom? Rad. Penis condom? Awesome. There are just so many options, but you've gotta choose one!


Step 4: Dance your way over to the check-out counter

Because, again, that's how the cool kids do it.


Step 5: Make direct eye-contact with the cashier, push the box forward, and say "Just these. Please."

Gotta be slick.


Step 6: Pay for the condoms

$$$


Step 7: Dramatically make an action that says "PHEW, that was CLOSE!"

Because PHEW, that was CLOSE!


Step 8: Realize that you just bought condoms, and that makes you a really cool person.

And it really wasn't that bad. Buying condoms can be an adventure if you do it right (like the cool kids).

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