Step 1: Enter the drug store

Dramatically, of course.

"

Step 2: Sneakily tip-toe to the "family planning" aisle

Because that's how the cool folks do it.

Step 3: Pick out your favorite box

Want an intravaginal condom? Rad. Penis condom? Awesome. There are just so many options, but you've gotta choose one!

Step 4: Dance your way over to the check-out counter

Because, again, that's how the cool kids do it.

Step 5: Make direct eye-contact with the cashier, push the box forward, and say "Just these. Please."

Gotta be slick.

Step 6: Pay for the condoms

$$$

Step 7: Dramatically make an action that says "PHEW, that was CLOSE!"

Because PHEW, that was CLOSE!

Step 8: Realize that you just bought condoms, and that makes you a really cool person.

And it really wasn't that bad. Buying condoms can be an adventure if you do it right (like the cool kids).