It's a powerful gift to be able to bring forth the light everyone possess deep inside themselves. Bringing out the best in others spreads contagious smiles and feel-good vibes. If you can do this, you can change the world. What's the secret?
Let them know you appreciate them.
It's very simple. Appreciate the good characteristics in people. Appreciate someone’s personality, their strength, their effort, their struggles, their opinion, their dreams and most importantly their friendship. Don't just silently appreciate, make sure you tell them what you appreciate about them! In psychology, it’s called positive reinforcement.
When you actively recognize the best parts of someone, they will show these recognized characteristics more and more. If you appreciate the wonderfully quirky parts of someone's personality, they will become more and more confident with sharing that aspect of themselves with the world. In fact, they will know you expect the best version of themselves and they will not want to disappoint. Ultimately, we rise by lifting others.
Trust your friends.
Channel the childlike innocence you once possessed when you openely trusted the human race. Trust your friends until they give you a concrete reason to be wary of their intentions. People generally mean well, they are not out to get you! Your friends will sense if you're distrustful of them and they will not feel comfortable being open around you. They, in turn, will not trust you back and will guard themselves around you just as you are guarding yourself. If you don't trust someone, the best part of both people will remain hidden.
Believe in others.
Be positive! Believe in the beauty of the human race because the human race is beautiful! Give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone is rude or cold, think about what might be going on in their personal life rather than automatically linking their behavior back to you. Don't automatically categorize them as a mean person.
It’s dangerous to assume a negative view of someone because you will unconsciously use everything they do as evidence justify your preconceived notion of who they are. They will sense your feelings towards them and react accordingly. It’s a recipe for a bad relationship that brings out the worst in both people.
When you actively seek out the best in people everyday, the world gets brighter and possibilities bloom where you may have overlooked them before. In order to recognize the good qualities in someone you must seek to understand rather than condemn.
When you seek to understand, you make others around you feel more comfortable with showing you their genuine selves because they know you aren't judging them.
Love yourself.
We accept the love we think we deserve. It's really hard to love others for the way they are if you can't do the same with yourself first. If you don’t believe that you deserve the best, you will not be open to receiving the best from anyone. You will put up a intimidating wall that discourages anyone from being themselves around you. Have the mindset that everyone wants to be your friend instead of assuming the opposite.
One last note: While it's important to recognize the best aspects of others, we need to be realistic and make sure we aren't putting others on a pedestal. Idealizing does more harm than good. We are all humans after all, nothing more and nothing less. The key is realizing that this is enough.
