How To Become A "Poet" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

How To Become A "Poet"

First, you have to be incredibly egotistical and melodramatic.

45
How To Become A "Poet"
theparisreview.org

To become a poet there are some simple steps you might want to follow.

First, you have to be incredibly egotistical and melodramatic. Then, you have to identify those traits and selfishly give them stanzas. When it comes to your melodrama don't let that speak clearly — it has to be felt.

Example of bad melodrama:

The flower weeps for spring.

Example of good (hidden) melodrama:

The flower hangs its head

Dew trickling from its petal like a tear.

This tear is a call for spring.

Both options are awful but flowers and spring beg for the cliché so avoid those subjects. Also avoid love, the rain, the sun, and battles set in the Middle Ages. You may touch on these topics when the cliché has been properly and irrevocably beaten out of your system.

When it comes to your vast, complex, never-ending ego try to manipulate your poems so that the reader thinks it is actually about them. A good way to do this is by speaking in the 2nd person. By making it seem like your poem is about the reader, or the human condition, you can secretly talk about the only subject of interest — yourself. Dreams and existential crises are a fun way to start.

Example:

You may have noticed that dreams

Are your personal Heaven and Hell.

So slip into your coma of dreams

Brought to you by a dark room

And closed lids.

You may be having trouble with the conversational tone, and you may be having trouble coming off like a preacher at a podium but it may be all about the process or all about the critique.

When it comes to critique always say thank you, because then, eventually, you will become truly thankful. Even if Colton Davis in your high school poetry workshop says he thinks it is cool that you lucid dream even though your poem just clearly stated that Satan himself had infiltrated your subconscious and you had no control over him at all, and knowing you were dreaming was not comforting or helpful. In fact it solidified the idea that your own mind may have a goal of torturing you every time your head hits the cool side of the pillow. But, you smile and say "I know, right" and laugh and except the many workshopped versions of your poem that all have "nice imagery" written in that meek, high school trademarked, handwriting at the bottom of the last stanza.

You must know that no poem will turn out how you expected it to. Also, most poets are pretentious, self-indulgent, insecure, phonies — including yourself so have fun trying to "make it" as a poet (also that's not a thing, no one has ever "made it" as a poet. You'll just die and your cousin, probably named Denise, will find your poems in a drawer in your bedside table and she'll submit them to the Kenyon Review and 200 years from now you'll be known for never reaching your potential). Also if you want to write a poem it helps if you are, or at least were an intensely sad alcoholic. You will take a college poetry class taught by David Glockner, a Keats loving socialist. Everyone will sit around in an infinite circle jerk (a cliché but a good one), praising one another's poems and tiptoeing over critiques and it will be by far your favorite class you have ever taken.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Kardashians
W Magazine

Whether you love them or hate them, it's undeniable the Kardashian/ Jenner family has built an enormous business empire. Ranging from apps, fashion lines, boutiques, beauty products, books, television shows, etc. this bunch has shown they are insane business moguls. Here are seven reasons why the Kardashian/ Jenner family should be applauded for their intelligent business tactics.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

If I have learned one thing in my lifetime, it is that friends are a privilege. No one is required to give you their company and yet there is some sort of shared connection that keeps you together. And from that friendship, you may even find yourself lucky enough to have a few more friends, thus forming a group. Here are just a few signs that prove your current friend group is the ultimate friend group.

Keep Reading...Show less
ross and monica
FanPop

When it comes to television, there’s very few sets of on-screen siblings that a lot of us can relate to. Only those who have grown up with siblings knows what it feels like to fight, prank, and love a sibling. Ross and Monica Geller were definitely overbearing and overshared some things through the series of "Friends," but they captured perfectly what real siblings feel in real life. Some of their antics were funny, some were a little weird but all of them are completely relatable to brothers and sisters everywhere.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Types Of Sorority Girls

Who really makes up your chapter...

2837
Sorority Girls
Owl Eyes Magazine

College is a great place to meet people, especially through Greek life. If you look closely at sororities, you'll quickly see there are many different types of girls you will meet.

1. The Legacy.

Her sister was a member, her mom was a member, all of her aunts were members, and her grandma was a member. She has been waiting her whole life to wear these letters and cried hysterically on bid day. Although she can act entitled at times, you can bet she is one of the most enthusiastic sisters.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

10 Reasons Why Life Is Better In The Summertime

Winter blues got you down? Summer is just around the corner!

2430
coconut tree near shore within mountain range
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Every kid in college and/or high school dreams of summer the moment they walk through the door on the first day back in September. It becomes harder and harder to focus in classes and while doing assignments as the days get closer. The winter has been lagging, the days are short and dark, and no one is quite themselves due to lack of energy and sunlight. Let's face it: life is ten times better in the summertime.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments