Are you someone who’s convinced super powers exist? Do you watch way too many superhero movies, living vicariously through the characters? Hoping that maybe - just maybe - someday, you’ll fall into a vat of toxic waste, and get super strength or the ability to fly? Well, fear not! You’re in luck, because in just 6 easy steps, I’m going to teach you how to become invisible.

1. Cut your hair.

The first step to becoming invisible is getting a hair cut. I mean, if you have less hair, you’ll be easier to hide!

2. Be short.

More precisely, be about 5’1" to 5’2". Again, less body means easier hiding! If you’re a little on the taller side, you can just like curl up into a ball or something. It’s close enough.

3. Make sure (the majority of) your friends are fake.

If they don’t need you, you’re entirely useless to them. This is a major key - because this way, they won’t even notice or care when you’re not around! If anything, it'll be those few good ones that panic when they can't find you.

4. Express your feelings.

Again, when you start showing feelings and affection toward people, they usually push you away - it makes you seem super annoying, and it’ll make being stealthy so much easier. Besides, they don’t wanna help you with your problems, silly! Only their’s matter.

5. Don't follow society's standards.

Everybody says, “Be yourself! Be unique! Do your own thing!” But when that actually happens, people don’t like it; thus, you’ll basically fall off the grid.

6. Be a girl.

Sorry, my dudes. But if you’re tiny and a female, you won’t be as intimidating; you'll be virtually useless, like as if you're not even their. You’ll be the sidekick to people; the person who’s referred to as “So-And-So’s friend.” Also, misogynists will pay the least possible amount of attention to you. It’s the best way to be less noticeable!

There you have it! Six easy steps to becoming invisible. Now, go do your worst.

(Disclaimer: this list doesn’t actually tell you how to become invisible, if you couldn’t tell already. It was written from the salty little bottom of my heart.)