School is officially (and unfortunately) back in action, and we're all back with our lovely (and not so lovely) roommates. Some of us are luckier than others when it comes to roommates, but we've all had to deal with a roommate-from-hell at least once in our lives. After asking about 50 different college students and picking my own brain, here's a list of 130 ways to make your roommates regret ever signing a lease to live with you.
1. Eat your roommates' food.
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2. Don't ask before you eat your roommates' food.
3. Don't pay them back or replace your roommates' food after eating it.
4. Don't admit to eating your roommates' food.
5. Leave the front door unlocked all day.
6. Leave the front door unlocked all night.
7. Leave the hallway/kitchen/living room lights on all night.
8. Don't clean the dishes.
9. Don't clean the toilet.
10. Don't clean anything.
11. Don't take the stinky trash out.
12. Be the one to make the trash stinky.
13. Leave passive aggressive notes on the refrigerator about household issues.
14. Leave dried up toothpaste in the sink.
15. Leave hairs on the shower wall.
16. Clog the drain(s).
17. Don't unclog the drain(s).
18. Don't buy any cleaning products.
19. Don't buy any toilet paper.
20. Use your roommates' cleaning products.
21. Use your roommates's toilet paper.
22. Steal your roommates' toilet paper for your room because you don't want to buy any.
23. Boss your roommates around like you're their mother.
24. Nag your roommates like you're their high-maintenance girlfriend.
25. Eavesdrop on conversations that you clearly aren't supposed to hear.
26. Put your ear up to their door when they're having an intense phone call.
27. Completely ignore one roommate but be very talkative to another.
28. Be rude and short to one roommate but be overly friendly to another.
29. Blame one roommate when something breaks.
30. Keep blaming that same roommate when everything else breaks.
31. Spread rumors to your friends so they are rude to your roommates when they come over.
32. Use all of the hot water.
33. Use all of the hot water more than once a week.
34. Steal your roommates' clothes, phone chargers and shoes.
35. Turn the air on high when you come home from the gym even when it's cold already.
36. Turn the heat up to 80 degrees because you don't like wearing socks while you sleep.
37. Get mad at your roommates when they ask you not to turn the temperature to 80 degrees.
38. Keep turning the heat up to 80 degrees.
39. Don't offer to pay for the overage or a larger portion of the utility bill after you've turned the air up to 80 degrees.
40. Leave all of your lights on while you're in class or just not home.
41. Make the TV volume loud enough for all of your roommates to hear, even when their doors are shut and their own TVs are on.
42. Do that late at night when everyone is trying to sleep.
43. Hide your kitchen utensils so your roommates can't use them.
44. Tell your roommates you lost your kitchen utensils when they ask where they went.
45. Don't share your wine bottle opener.
46. Laugh when your roommates try to open their wine bottles with a knife.
47. But still don't offer to share your wine bottle opener.
48. Get mad at your roommates when they're using the washer/dryer when you need it.
49. Spend an entire day doing laundry to get back at them.
50. Use your roommates' detergent when you spend an entire day doing laundry.
51. Leave your laundry in the washer/dryer for the next couple of days.
52. Bother your roommates when they're trying to study or do homework.
53. Complain about how dirty the apartment/house/condo is.
54. Never help clean it.
55. Keep making it dirtier.
56. Keep complaining about how dirty it is.
57. Buy a pet without asking or warning your roommates.
58. Don't train the pet to pee outside.
59. Don't clean up when the pet pees inside.
60. Yell at your roommates when their pets pee inside.
61. Don't clean up the pet hair that sticks to everything inside.
62. Get mad at your roommates when you have to clean up for them or their guests.
63. Never clean up after yourself or your guests.
64. Throw parties every weekend.
65. Don't invite your roommates to your parties every weekend.
66. Invite randoms to your parties every weekend.
67. Let the randoms sleep on the couch after your parties every weekend.
68. Don't clean up the morning after your parties every weekend.
69. Smoke in your room.
70. Smoke in the living room.
71. Smoke in the kitchen.
72. Leave cigarette butts on the balcony/porch.
73. Smoke weed inside.
74. Don't light candles or use air fresheners after smoking inside.
75. Ignore your roommates' requests for you to stop smoking cigarettes and weed inside.
76. Keep smoking cigarettes and weed inside.
77. Leave drugs and alcohol out in the open so that if you go down, your roommates go down with you.
78. Have your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends basically live there with you.
79. Don't let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends contribute to paying rent.
80. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends use all of the hot water.
81. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends eat all of the food.
82. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends have their friends over all the time.
83. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends have their friends over when you aren't home.
84. Let your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends have their friends over when none of the actual roommates are home.
85. Ignore your roommates when they ask you to stop letting your boyfriend/girlfriend/friends live there/eat there/socialize there.
86. Steal your roommates' things when you move out.
87. Take your roommates' mail keys/house keys when you can't find yours.
88. Delete or tape over your roommates' recorded TV shows and movies.
89. Put hand washing dish soap in the dish washer.
90. Leave crumbs on the counter and the floor.
91. Leave puddles on the coffee table because you don't believe in coasters.
92. Take up the entire refrigerator.
93. Use all of the cabinet space.
94. Get mad at your roommates when they use your blankets/pillows on the couch.
95. Flirt with your roommates' friends/boyfriends/girlfriends.
96. Put dirty dishes in with the clean dishes in the dishwasher.
97. Don't empty out the clean dishes.
98. Wake your roommates up from their naps to vent about your problems.
99. Wake your roommates up from their naps just for fun.
100. Make the smoke detectors go off just to see how long it takes for your roommates to get to the kitchen.
101. Leave candles burning when you leave.
102. Order pizza for yourself and one roommate but don't offer any to the other(s).
103. Bake cookies for yourself and one roommate but don't offer any to the other(s).
104. Set your stinky bathroom trash out in the hallway for the whole world/apartment to smell.
105. Don't do the chores you agreed to do.
106. Leave every pair of your shoes in the living room at all times.
107. Leave every jacket you own in the living room at all times.
108. Kick your roommates out for a night or two when you have a guest (hint hint: freshman dorms).
109. Leave your school notebooks and textbooks on the kitchen table for three weeks.
110. Leave half of your boxes next to the front door when you move in.
111. Leave the boxes there until your roommates put them in your room for you.
112. Talk very loudly when you're on the phone.
113. Play music so loudly that people on the sidewalk can hear it too.
114. Hook up with your boyfriend/girlfriend really loudly when your roommates/neighbors are trying to study or sleep.
115. Burn your popcorn every time you make popcorn.
116. Take the living room TV/stereo to your room.
117. Push expired food to the back of the fridge instead of throwing it away.
118. See how many expired foods grow mold before your roommates throw them away for you.
119. Drink your roommates' alcohol.
120. Give your roommates' alcohol to your guests.
121. Spill alcohol/soda/other sticky liquids on the floor.
122. Don't clean up said spilled liquids.
123. Slam the doors.
124. Drop heavy things on the floor.
125. Stomp through the hallways.
126. Do jumping jacks in your room so the people below you think the sky is falling.
127. Hammer things to the walls late at night.
128. Blow the fuse by using your blowdryer, hair straightener and curling iron all at the same time.
129. Take all of your school stress and relationship drama out on your roommates.
130. Make their lives a living hell.
So there you have it. What do your roommates do that make you miserable?
