Yesterday, I met the nicest officer in the world. He was wearing a cap, a name badge, and a navy blue uniform—in all senses, a very ordinary officer, and in all other senses—middle-aged, regular stature—a very ordinary man.

But he was the nicest officer in the world. And he taught me exactly what that meant (no donuts involved).

Here’s a general summary.

Officer Dennis House’s Surface Ingredients to Happiness

• Smile
• Handshake
• Ask for a name
• Smile
• Engage in conversation and help out a pathetic college student who can’t find a plug outlet (aka me)
• Smile
• Handshake
• Smile

And there you go. Now notice I didn’t say surface ingredients to niceness. I said surface ingredients to happiness. What does this mean?

Well, it means that the list above were the steps he took to make me happy—not (necessarily) the steps he took to make himself nice. The difference is that he was focused on my world not his world. And this here is the crux. The above list only focuses on ‘surface ingredients’—the little actions that anyone can do.

Here’s a different list:

Officer Dennis House’s Ingredients to Happiness

• Step out of your own world
• Make someone else’s world better

Sounds super, crazy cliche right? Yet that’s all we need. If you simply followed the first list, you’d probably be able to look nice; this second list is what truly let’s someone be nice. It’s like the difference between smiling with your teeth and truly smiling with your eyes.

This idea is also why it’s much harder for people to be nice when others haven’t been so nice to you. Or when you’re stressed and tired. Or when you’re mad. It’s hard trying to make someone else’s world better when your own world is in shambles. But being nice is a two-way thing: when you focus on someone else’s world, the problems in your own world become less significant and simultaneously, others become more inclined to help you with your problems. Now of course, I’m not saying that you can never entirely transcend your own world. That’s just not how the human mind works. Everything we experience is entirely colored by our own perception. And everything we think is real is only our warped interpretation of reality. Thus when I say that I met the nicest officer in the world, I mean my world since that’s the only world accessible to me—my world is my whole world (though by no means the only world out there). And because this is what I see my world to be, this opinion becomes my reality.

As such, to become the nicest person or officer in the world, you only need to touch one person. Any combination of surface ingredients, whether it’s bringing a friend dinner, saying hello to a newcomer in your youth group, or baking cookies for someone’s birthday, will suffice as long as they receive your core intent and focus.

To become the nicest person in the world, you only need to step outside of your world.

To become the nicest person in the world, you only need to change one person’s reality.

To become the nicest officer in the world, you only need to learn my name and say hello. Just because you care about all the students that walk by you, who in most senses, are plain and ordinary.

To become the nicest anything in the world, you only need to be a very ordinary man (disclaimer: man as in human).