When two or more people around you start fighting, it can be really hard on those stuck in the middle. For example, if you have two best friends who get in a fight with each other, they might want you to pick sides. Here are a few ways to remain neutral.
First, listen to each side of the story and let each party vent. Having someone listen to you when you're upset is not only a huge relief but it can help you to make your thoughts more tangible.
Second, you need to show your support for them and let them know that their feelings are valid. Showing support can also be a way to resolve conflicts more quickly.
Third, you need to validate the situation. When you're upset, sometimes all you need is for someone to say that it's OK to react the way you have—that you aren't stupid or weird for feeling that way. Everyone has feelings and it is very important for them to be recognized.
Last, you need to make sure that you don't get lost in the middle of their battle. An important part of self-care is to know how much you can take. Pushing yourself over the edge for the people you care about won't help them—or you. When you are trying to help people, it is easy to be so empathetic that you get too emotionally involved. Then, you become a confused third party in a mess that wasn't yours, to begin with.
It can be very difficult to mediate between loved ones or friends. It is important to have an open mind. It's just as important to offer advice or support when they need it. Leave space for them to figure it out among themselves. If they don't resolve their conflict, you can't blame yourself for something you had zero control over. You can't control the actions or reactions of others—just yours.
