Last month, I wrote something similar, on being single and loving it, but this week I want to write about being single from a slightly different angle. Why? Because single people know single really well, but they don't always know how to enjoy it.
Somewhere along the lines, you may have picked up on the underlying whisper in society that says you need to be in a relationship to have any kind of purpose in this world, or at least that being in a relationship is one of the most important things you can do, have or gain.
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But, it's not. I could give you a whole list of things that are better than being in a relationship when it comes to the important stuff. At the top, you'd probably see elements like, finding yourself, learning to enjoy your own company without always wishing someone else was there and reaching/achieving your own goals. This is not to say you can't do those things while in a relationship, but it's a whole heck of a lot easier (and a lot more common), when you're single.
Being in a relationship is not a destination, it's a journey. It's not the end goal, and it's not the reason for life. It's a process, something that should add to your life, not something you're searching for to make your life worthwhile.
Now so far, I haven't really told you how to actually enjoy being single; the theory is simple, putting it into practice is what could be perceived as hard.
Because here's the thing: actually liking being single is a choice. It's up to you whether you're going to be happy or not. It's up to you to say "hey, if I want to like being single, I have to choose it."
Do what makes you happy, and don't wait for anyone else to do it with you to get it done. If listening to certain kinds of music or songs makes you wish you were in a relationship, or long for a past relationship, find something else to listen to. Tired of third-wheeling? I know it's not easy, but it's all about your mindset going into it. If you want to be happy, you will be; no matter what your circumstances are, you can choose to find the good in being by yourself. Notice how I didn't say being alone. That's because you aren't alone, you're with you.
You can be your own hot date, you don't always need to be with someone else to have a good time. Sure, it'd be great to have a plus one to go to movies, dinners, weddings and other events with, but you are fun by yourself. Someone else being with you should only be considered more fun, not the only fun.
What will make you happy being single is something that is different for every person. For me personally, I love going to see a movie by myself, or specifically choosing to go out to eat with no one but me for company. There's just something about it that makes me feel really great, and while to some that might sound like skewed logic, for me it's not. It exhilarates me, fills me with confidence, and makes me feel strong and independent.
So, in reality, how to actually enjoy being single is up to you. You're the one who decides what's going to make you happy and help you to enjoy life, and then you have to decide to do it.
Besides, it's way more attractive to be content and confident in who you are- someone who is secure in their singleness- than to constantly be wishing you were in a relationship.
If someone asks you, "Why are you single?," you can say:
"'You know what? I'm having a great time, and I love my life. And, if I met someone that I felt it justified the investment, then you know, I would, but it would have to be extraordinary for me to go for it, because I value relationships highly, and I'd need to meet someone extraordinary. I also love my life as it is now, so it would take something extraordinary to wrestle me away from the way things are now, (Matthew Hussey).'"
Then that's how you know you've made it.
That's how you'll know that you've reached the point where you actually enjoy being single, that you know you're no longer looking for a relationship because you're happy either way.
