Lesson Number One:

Always make sure you are talking louder than all the people around you. Even if they are speaking quietly, you need to be the loudest person in the room. You will soon learn, if you are at an Italian gathering, you are competing with all the other Italians to be heard. Italians will talk to each other all at the same time. Somehow, they can hear what five different people are saying all at once while talking. Reason: they talk loud.

Lesson Number Two:

You should talk with your hands. In case someone does not hear you, at least they will see your hands and get an idea of what you are saying. The Italian’s hand gestures are meaningful. The bigger the gestures the more excited or angry the Italian is. The smaller the gestures, the more intimate and personal the conversation is. If the gestures are big and little, they are most likely telling a story. Talking with your hands will help other Italians know whether they wish to join your conversations.

Lesson Number Three:

Always be hungry. It is rare that you can walk into a true Italian home and not get offered something to eat or drink. You may say “no thank you” but they will just find something else to offer you. Just accept something. They will keep asking throughout your visit with them if you do not. Even if you eat it slowly, make sure you have food or a drink in your hand.

Lesson Number Four:

Always have enough food for everyone and then some. It is a disgrace to Italians if you run out of food at a party. You must make enough food so that every guest can take some home and you still have leftovers.

Lesson Number Five:

Make sure you greet everybody. It does not matter if you know them or not. Shake hands, accept hugs, and if they pull you in for a kiss, make the kiss noise without actually kissing their cheek. Italians like to know everybody. If you have your family tree handy and can tell them how you are related to them, they love that. If you know friends of theirs, they love to know that too. Italians are all about the connection. They will treat you like gold if you make a connection. Hopefully, you know someone they like or it could be the opposite effect.

Lesson Number Six:

Know at least one or two Italian songs to sing with the older Italians. My Nonna knew that the only way to cheer up old grumpy Italians was to lead them into song. Singing brings people together. It does not matter if you sing well. Some Italians are tone-deaf and they still sing at the top of their lungs. A good song to learn is Volare.

Lesson Number Seven:

Try as often as you can to be all together. Italians know that life is better when they are surrounded by the people they love. It was my Nonna’s favorite thing to be­ —all together. When Italians get together, there is no better place to be. If you want to be Italian, you better start having parties with all the people you love.