Happiness: positive emotions surrounded around joy and living in a mentally joyful state of mind. This could also be known as the single goal that all humans strive for. "I just want to be happy". "My happiness is the most important thing to me".
"Why can't I just be happy"?
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Why do we strive for happiness when we all clearly know that each day is not meant to be happy? From a young age, we are told that our goal in life should be happiness. Then we all blindly nod, as if we know what that means. Little do we know that if we were happy every single day, we would not be able to appreciate the days when we are exceptionally happy. The days when we can't seem to wipe the smile off our face. The days where the sun shines a little brighter and the days hug a little tighter.
I love these days. I live for these days. Currently, I am living out one of those days because the bad point of my freshman year has come to an end and everything seems to be quite positive right now. I am grateful for the life I am given.
The only problem is, it seems that everyone around me is settling. Always saying "it will be fine" or "I'll just figure it out". It has been bothering me a lot lately. Mindsets like these really confuse me. How can someone just settle on the "I'll be okay"s as opposed to saying "today is a really crappy day" or "this is a really sh*tty thing that happened and I'm going to be upset about it". Why can't people just accept that bad days are natural?
I understand that this could be a coping mechanism of some sorts, but I don't believe it is a positive one. If I allowed myself to say "my freshman year of college was wonderful from start to finish", not only would I be lying to myself, but I would be putting my bad days on the same level as my amazing days. How can I compare eating by myself for a week straight with little to no social interaction to the day I landed in Disney World? Or the day I got my Kappa Delta bid? Or the day I held my puppy for the first time? Or the first time I hugged my parents in October?
I have come to really enjoy my bad days. Obviously I'm not saying "COME ON BAD DAYS COME AND GET ME!", but I'm not turning them away either. Sometimes, you need to realize that the glass has to be empty before it can be full. It will spill all over the place and you will have to clean up the mess, but you will learn from the spill and the glass will be just a little bit fuller the next time.
I can wholeheartedly say that I believe the true key to happiness is accepting that you will never be 100% happy every single day. Strength comes from allowing yourself to say, "hey, today, this week, this month, and even this year are really not great. But that doesn't mean that it can't get better, and it will. I just need time" rather than believing that everything is just fine.
My advice on how to be happy: don't settle for the "it's fine". Live in your sadness. Let it run its course. It will leave when you're ready.
