As someone who suffers from Major Depressive Disorder (or depression), I may not seem like the best person to be giving out advice to people about being happy. I’m not super qualified because I don’t feel happy all the time. But the more I think about it, the more that becomes the reason that I can totally give advice to others about being happy.
Since I’ve been diagnosed, there have been days when I feel super sad. Not like normal sad, sad like, “All of my friends died and I’m the last person on Earth and I'm probably the worst person ever and now look I have no limbs” sad. There are also days where I feel nothing. Like being completely empty and incapable of feeling normal human emotions. It’s kind of like being a hollow blob, laying as a starfish on your bed and your brain tells you to respond to things with the appropriate emotion but instead all you can do is grunt a little. However, there are days when I can feel what I remember happiness to be and it is the most exciting thing ever. I love those moments, the ones where I can feel my heart beating and the blood in my veins and I can smile and laugh and feel alive.
For “normal” people, happiness is an emotion that can be thrown around like how a football player throws a football. It is common and easy to get access to a football if you are a football player. The football player takes the football for granted. It would be really hard to be a functioning football player if you couldn’t find a football. You can still run around and do drills and whatever else football players do, but if you suddenly couldn’t find a football, you’d realize just how much you used it and how valued it was in your life.
If that metaphor made any sense, it backs up my claim that as a person with depression, I think I can say I appreciate my happy moments more than the average person. Also I have to work to be happy a lot harder than most people, and I’ve discovered some things that help being happy a little bit easier.
Although these tips are from the perspective of someone fighting mental illness, I think they are also applicable to those who are not. I mean if these are tips that help a person with depression be a little happier, I bet it will really help those who do not.
1. Get outside
Typical symptoms of depression include lack of interest, exhaustion/ being lethargic, and purposeful exclusion from social situations. For me, that means if I could, I would lay in my bed and watching YouTube videos literally all day. However, when I force myself to go outside, this sometimes helps elevate my mood. Being involved with things outside of the home forces you to push sad thoughts out of your head and focus on surviving in the outside world. Watching TV and YouTube is okay for me, but if I don’t break up my time I become more and more tired and sad. Also, on days when leaving my bed feels like the scariest thing in the world but I’m able to push myself out, I feel super accomplished and proud of myself.
2. Service
It’s kind of hard to think about people other than yourself. That’s okay and that’s normal, especially for people with depression. Simple ways to serve others include being a nice human being. Holding the door open for others, sending a sweet text to a friend, or using a polite tone with strangers are easy ways to serve others that won’t overwhelm you. Thinking about people other than yourself makes it harder for sad thoughts to enter your brain.
3. Deepen spirituality
This may be controversial, but I’m going to talk about the things that I have found helped me achieve more happiness personally. In my opinion, spirituality is a concept that exists in all of us. I think as humans, we naturally yearn to learn what is bigger than us, how the universe exists, and how to attain peace through finding spiritual truths. For me, that involves praying to God every day and reading my scriptures. It also includes going to church regularly and being active in my youth group. However, spirituality is different for every person, and there are many ways that someone can become more spiritual. By getting guidance from an entity that is bigger than me and loves me, I feel like I have worth and that I have a purpose. For someone with depression, those are feelings that are hard to get sometimes. When I practice improving my spirituality, I deepen a part of me that is connected to the thoughts in my brain and I’ve noticed it has helped me a little when I’m especially depressed. Although religion or spirituality will not save you from mental illness, I’ve found it makes coping much easier.
4. Invest in relationships
Depression can make you feel like you are completely alone. When friends check up on you to ask how you are doing or try to include you in activities, it sometimes helps to make you feel less lonely. However, people can’t help you if they don’t know what is going on with you. Friends also tend to not show care for friends that don’t show they care about them back. I’ve noticed that when I invest time and care into people, the support of that relationship helps me avoid feeling like I am alone.
5. Learn a skill/have a hobby
Practicing a skill can make you feel of value and having a talent usually can make someone feel better about themselves. Having a hobby that includes being active is even better, since exercise is proven to be a method that combats depression. Some ideas include gardening, crafting, reading, dancing, playing sports, writing, or drawing. You may feel more like your life has a purpose when you are spending time improving yourself. You can even do these activities with others, thus improving relationships.
Having depression is a really hard thing and I definitely don't take my own advice all the time. However, if I participate in just one of these ideas a day, it does elevate my mood most of the time. Even though it may feel like your mental illness has control over you, these little things I do help me make it through the day and make me feel like I have more control over my illness.
