A wise woman once told me that it is only a blessing if you share it. Now, she was referring to compliments, but I believe this goes even deeper. We all go through peaks and valleys. We know that growth comes while we are in the valleys of life. Going through dark seasons will cause us to become closer to the Lord and makes us a stronger and better person. I also believe that my personal dark season can be a blessing to others if I share my story. I hope by sharing what helped me, the next time you are struggling in life, you won't feel so alone and helpless. My goal is to make even the darkest of your days a little bit brighter.

The beginning of this summer was an extremely dark time for myself. Being a newly saved Christian, I was in denial about my feelings for so long. "How can a believer be having these thoughts and feelings?". But the truth is, even the most righteous people have struggles, doubts, and fears (David, Elijah, Moses, etc). Once I accepted that I was not okay, the healing process was able to begin.

I have battled anxiety my whole life, some seasons are better than others. For many reasons, this past season was the worst it has ever been. I feel into a deep depression, I felt extremely hopeless. I am beyond thankful for my family and friends who were there for me during this dark season. However, no one can make you happy. Happiness is a choice, a mindset. While I was in this valley, contemplating the worth of my life almost daily, I discovered a daily routine that transformed me from a hopeless human to a work-in-progress believer!

Name your pain:

Writing down the things that are causing you internal pain can be the most therapeutic thing. Put it in words, what is fighting against you.

Figure out where the devil is working in your life:

Often times, we start to believe the lies that the devil may be telling us. When we go through a storm, Satan's lies seem to seep into us, we start to believe the destructive thoughts he wants us to think. In order to stop believing the lies that Satan has, we must figure out exactly what he's been telling us. The lies I find the most common are

• I don't deserve happiness
• I'm not loved
• The dark season will never end
• I'm better off not here
• Alcohol/drugs will help the pain
• Reaching out for help will only burden people
• I'm not a good Christian and that's why God is punishing me
• I mess up everything

Add to the list. After you name the lies, admit that they are lies, that they aren't true and that God doesn't want you feeling this way. "Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favors as with a shield". We have the armor of God on, we are strong enough to fight off the devils lies, once you believe it, the devil will lose.

The most important thing to understand is that if you are in a valley right now, it is NOT because you are a bad Christian. I remember feeling like I can't even believe in God right and that is why I am struggling so much. That could not be farther from the truth; "The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer" (Psalms 6:9). God is not mad at you, he has accepted your prayers and mercy is on its way, but remember that it is God's timing.

Something extremely simple and helpful is focusing on the positives. Our culture and society tell us that we should focus on the bad, what we aren't, what we did wrong, what we don't have. But God tells us to do just the opposite. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Give thanks to the Lord!! As simple as it is, making a list, on paper or mentally, of positives happening in your life can completely change your mindset and how you tackle the day. I do not want to pretend to know what you are going through, or make you feel like I am doubting the significance of your pain. There may be no earthly things going right in your life right now, but regardless of your life situation, you can be thankful for God's love and promises that you can never escape.

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Trust in God's promises:

As simple as it sounds, something that was extremely helpful for me was to review what God has promised to us by reading the book of Psalms. I wrote down the promises that I felt relevant to what was weighing me down and every morning I would look at them. Simple, but incredibly effective.

• "For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous" (Psalms 1:6)
• "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me, I will not fear though ten thousand assail me on every side." (Psalms 3:5-6)
• "Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield" (Psalms 5:12)
• "The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer" (Psalms 6:9)
• "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" (Psalms 18:2)
• "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 16:8)
• "The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)
• "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
• "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)
• "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."
• I encourage you to go through the book of psalms for yourself. Diving into the word, daily, helps me stay close to God and keep in constant communication with our creator. Remember, prayer is how we talk to God, but scripture is how he answers our questions, doubts, and teaches us about his unfailing love.

Give it all to God:

I was doing all of the things I mentioned before, but I was still feeling extremely burdened with sadness and hopeless situations. I felt like I didn't need to tell God that I couldn't do it on my own anymore because he already knew. It's true, God knows our every thought and feeling, but I believe that God waited for me to humble myself before he carried me out of the storm.

"A Letter to God

I have suffered long enough. Anxiety, depression, and now suicidal thoughts have consumed me for too long now. I have tried to have control, to fight the devil on my own, but I no longer can.

I surrender it all to you, Lord. Please come save me from what I can't do myself. God, you are all-powerful, you have the power to end all the pain, and whether you do that now or a month from now, I will continue to send your praises.

God use my pain and suffering for good. Let me learn and grow from this. Let this not be for nothing.

Lord, you have been there the whole time, but I haven't leaned on you fully. Lord, I surrender, take my life into your hands.

I can't do this anymore, but you can. I love you God and want to live a life pleasing to you and you alone.

In Jesus' name… Amen"

Write a letter to God, pray an authentic prayer and say everything you've been feeling. He wants to hear you surrender, humble yourself to admit you can't do this without him. Pray that God takes out the pain and fills your heart with JOY.

But with all of that said, there are days that no matter what I do, I still feel like there's a storm cloud over my head. And that's okay, we will have bad days, hopeless days. These days helps us to appreciate the mediocracy of everyday life. Take it one day at a time, be present, search for God in everything and I promise the storm cloud will go away, I'm living proof of it.