How To Be A Certified F*ckgirl (As Told By A F*ckgirl) | The Odyssey Online
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How To Be A Certified F*ckgirl (As Told By A F*ckgirl)

Sorry, not sorry.

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How To Be A Certified F*ckgirl (As Told By A F*ckgirl)
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It takes a real ballsy betch to be a f*ckgirl, and let me tell you, the journey to becoming one was not an easy one. A f*ckgirl doesn't care about anything, attitude is on 100, loves her freedom, thrives off spontaneity, and can't be tied down by anyone. You can't run game on a f*ckgirl, I promise you.

A couple of years ago, I was the complete opposite of a f*ckgirl. I was in a committed relationship, never even looked at another dude and just focused on being the best girlfriend I could be to him. I spent my teenage years tied down, which left me gasping for air by the time I turned 21. When I finally realized it wasn’t working out with him, I did a complete 180. I went from being loyal af to becoming an A1 f*ckgirl.

We're all familiar with the term f*ckboy, right? Every girl has absolutely experienced a player in her lifetime. You know, the dude who gives you attention, makes you think he likes you, gets what he wants and then never hits you up again cause he’s on to the next. I’ve dealt with so many players that it literally rubbed off on me and now I play them better than they ever could’ve played me.

Girls, stop getting hurt and start getting even. Why should guys have all the fun, anyway? Here’s how to be a bombass, certified f*ckgirl:

The number one rule: Be heartless.

This is not an option. You can't give a f*ck about their feelings. You have to be heartless bitch. Don’t even waste your time pretending to be interested in his life cause it's not like you even care anyway.


Don’t hit him up.

Absolutely never hit him up first (unless you're scheduling a dick appt.), and when he texts you, don’t respond (unless you’re really bored, horny, or like like hungry).


Don’t save numbers.

You don’t need his number cause you’re not gonna hit him up. And nothing’s funner than the thrill of trying to figure out who the f it is texting you, “uhh I think it’s that kid from that bar in Troy... could be wrong tho.


Hit & run.

We don’t cuddle. We don’t sleepover. We hit and run. Boy, bye.


Always defend the term ‘slut’.

People throw the words “hoe” and “slut” around like it’s the worst thing in the world. I’ve heard things like, “nobody wants to wife up a hoe.” Okay? Who said I wanted to be wifed up? Hop off our areola's and let us live our lives. Women have needs just like guys do. It’s 2016, stop f*cking slut-shaming.


Don’t name his ass.

I stopped using names for guys a long time ago. I’d rather be specific and refer to them as “little dick Nick”, “Sam Something” and “clingy guy from Jersey”


DON’T CATCH THE FEELS.

This is the most important point. Never, ever catch the feels. You’re just f*cked from this point forward if you do. So just don’t.


If you're okay with being compared to Samantha from Sex & The City, never settling down, breakin' hearts and having no plans of marriage, congrats boo! You're on your way to becoming a f*ckgirl! Welcome to the hoe club mama :-)

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