In our world today, there is a special group of women who are just so unique and hilarious we don't even know where we would be without them: Facebook moms. They make the best statuses and have so much fun with everything they do that it's so difficult to not want to be one of them! If you ever scroll through your Facebook timeline and feel pangs of jealousy because your wit and wisdom just doesn't measure up to those of moms on Facebook, this post is for you. Do you have both a maiden and a married last name that you can hyphenate so you look extra cool? Great! Do you have a first and middle name that you can pair together so you seem sassy and fun? Even better! Let's get started.
Photos
When you first join Facebook, you'll have to upload a profile photo to show everyone who you are. Though it may be tempting to upload that beautiful dimly lit picture of you and your husband wearing sunglasses and drinking out of plastic cups with small black straws in front of a beautiful sunset from last summer, it's just not what the cool moms are doing anymore.
Try uploading a picture of your dog, your children or a glass of wine! We all know that wine is basically your life anyway! (This is your first warning: if you aren't obsessed with wine, you don't have what it takes to be a Facebook mom.)
And while you're at it, make your profile photo and your cover photo the same photo! It's what all the cool moms are doing these days!
Moving forward, the whole point of Facebook is to post as many photos as possible. So, post every single photo you have of your children! Old ones, new ones, every photo you can possibly find. Use Facebook as your personal photo album.
And when you post these photos, it's important to describe them in as much detail as possible. Even though you post a picture of your son and his girlfriend (who are already all over your profile because they're so darn cute!) wearing a tux and a floor-length dress, you really need to specify that they're attending their high school's Prom (don't forget to specify which high school!) because they're seniors and they're graduating next week. Time really does fly!
Sharing
Since we've already established that you need to post about your personal life as much as possible, it shouldn't be a problem for you to share every photo you kind of like a little bit! Most of these should be about being a mom. Who wouldn't want to see a million photos with beautiful mom sayings written in Lucida Handwriting on their timeline? It's also crucial to always share posts about wine. (Once again, if you don't like wine, you need to reevaluate how much of a priority being a Facebook mom is to you.)
In addition to sharing lots of step-by-step DIY photos and videos that we know you'll never actually try, it's really cool to share all those cool, mysterious articles. Most of them have funny titles that end with "What Happens Next Will Surprise You. Genius!" You always want to stay a little mysterious and give your old friends from high school a laugh! LOL!!!
Interacting with Others
The best part about Facebook is that you can "like" and comment on anything you want! Sometimes, my son's friends that I've never met tag him in lots of pictures of him having fun at college. I can't really tell what he's doing since whatever can he's holding is blurry, but I "like" it anyway! He's probably just trying to avoid taking sides in the Pepsi vs. Coca-Cola dispute, ha ha!!!
Sometimes, my friends share photos with funny sayings about wine, and I just have to comment an "LOL" or a "Ha ha so true!!!" I know that Lori-Jo shared that photo just for me.
Those cute photos that have words on them are so clever! Every now and then, instead of posting a simple "happy birthday" on someone's wall, I'll post one of those word-photos for them instead! If you do this, make sure to also wish them a happy birthday in the caption also. Remember, description is key!
That's why, whenever I'm invited to an event that I can't attend, I always explain why I can't go in a public post on the event's page. I feel so bad! I know that everyone else who was invited will miss my quirky and fun-loving personality, especially after I have a few glasses of wine! I know that the event's host, this man who was in my 10th grade Geometry class, didn't just hit "Invite All," he specifically invited me to this obscure event!
As a Facebook mom, it's really important to have as much fun as possible. So, play lots of games. My favorite is "FarmVille!" If you're doing well, you can share your progress on your profile! I know that everyone genuinely cares that I just reached my new high score in "Candy Crush."
And, that's what it takes to be a Facebook mom! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post on my wall! Gotta go, I have to go buy some more wine!!!
