Standing your ground and doing what’s right is sometimes difficult because we, well I, worry about the repercussions. We often speak before we think. Excuse me, I often speak before I think. Was I rude? Was that the right thing to do? Did I offend someone by saying that? Was it my place to do that?

Throughout my life, and yours too, situations have and will come up, and I’ll wonder what response I should give or what action I should take. I look back now and think of these certain instances and wonder what I would’ve changed and how I could’ve made it better. So join me as I delve into my past, talk about my present and for see future instances on how to be a boss a$$ bitch, without the large side of bitch.

1.Standing up for family and friends.

Okay so this is the most important one. Because who are we without friends and family? Exactly. I remember as a child playing ‘Hide ‘n Go’ seek in my culdesac with all my neighbors. There were several kids around my brother’s and I’s age in our neighborhood, and we would get together and play this childhood favorite game weekly. Well everyone goes through that ugly duckling stage. I remember mine in fourth grade. That was my post underbite phase. And damn, Negan woulda roasted the shit outta me. Anyway, back to hide ‘n seek as children. Well during this time frame my brother was a little chunky. JCPenney’s would refer to that size as “husky.” Well that’s at least what the size sticker said. He would be the last one to touch the base and scream, “Ollie, ollie oxen free!” But most of the time, he would be tagged before hitting it. And he was on my team all the time. And I’m competitive. So I would vehemently yell at him and ask why he didn’t hide closer so he didn’t have to run as hard. Then it happened.

“Steven’s a fatty. We can always get him out,” one neighbor yelled, which was followed by snickers. (not the candy. Pun intended)

My bitch side has always been there, but it reared its ugly head full force.

“DON’T TALK ABOUT MY BROTHER, YOU IDIOTS!!” I scream.

“Lisa, you always say it. Geez,” the neighborhood little dick replies.

My brother and I walked away that game after several more insults were yelled from both sides as my brother sat and stared. I felt good at the time to rip those little suckers. But looking back, what did my insults do? Did they take back the fat comment? Did they make my brother feel better? Did they make anything better? No. I wasn’t a boss, here, I was a bitch.

2.Going against the norm.

And when I say norm, I don’t mean normal to society, but normal to the situation you’re in. Well, you’ll see in a sec. This is probably the most difficult instance when it comes to standing your ground. Well, in high school I ran track. I was a sprinter. So too fast to do long distances because I became winded, but too short-legged to compete with the big dogs. So I stuck to running short distance relays. Whenever you’re on a team, there’s always differences. Being a younger member of the team you often get bossed around. “Go get that relay stick.” “Go grab the water.” “Get the sprinter block.” You catch my drift. Well these older girls were like that on the track team and real clique-ish. I, however, bucked the system. I wasn’t going to be a little gopher. I wasn’t going to be the butt of the jokes. Sure, it was “normal” to do this in high school and in a team setting, but just because it was “normal” or expected, doesn’t mean it was right. So I wouldn’t do what they said. I wouldn’t go along with the mean older girl tendencies. I didn’t shout insults like the hide-n-go-seek Lisa did, but I stood my ground. I never thought that made an impact on anyone, then I happened to reread my freshman yearbook signatures. A fellow female classmate who ran track with me wrote, “Lisa, you never took anything from those girls in track. Even when they were mean and bossy. I remembered that. Stay sweet and stay true to you,” wrote Joanna C. Everyone wrote, “Stay sweet,” back then. Look back, too, and you’ll see. Anyway, Joanna C was watching me. Yeah, I wasn’t friendly to these girls. And no, I didn’t take shit. But, I wasn’t a mega bitch. Let’s just say I was becoming a boss with bitchy tendencies.

3.Standing up for yourself.

This is something I am proud to say I’ve evolved the most on. We are born thinking to cry and everything will be better. As babies, we cry, and mommy feeds us. We cry, daddy changes our dirty diaper. Kids, we cry, and we get the sucker we want. We cry, and we hopefully get out of the spanking that was soon to ensue. Then our brains develop and crying is now an emotionally-evoked response. Tommy broke up with me. Cry. I got a speeding ticket. Cry. As we get older and our brains develop more, and we think, crying is something babies do. Don’t do it. Wrong. Crying is a normal response to something that has sparked your emotions. You’re not wrong for crying. But you’re wrong for crying to get attention or to try to make things go your way. Subsitute the act of crying for any other acion we take. Being a boss a$$ bitch is about taking actions for something you want. But without the side of bitch is the best way to get it. “Roasting” someone because they hurt you, doesn’t make your pain go away. It doesn’t let you get what you want. Example. You get pulled over. He writes you a ticket. You tell him he’s a fat pig. You get another ticket. Sure, in the moment it felt good as hell to let that cop know exactly what you think of him. But you got another ticket. You were just a bitch. To be a boss a$$ bitch you should’ve taken the ticket, then gone to court and pled your case. Or pay your ticket in pennies. You’ve all seen the video of the guy paying his ticket in coins. If not, look it up.

So where I’m going with this…. A girl sent me a $1 on the cash exchange app, Venmo, with the note, “So you don’t get evicted. Hope everything works out and eventually you can have the social life you try to portray on social media.” Then comments on my social media, “to the girl who can’t get a job and can’t get over your ex.” For starters, that was a comma splice. A comma is needed after the words ‘out’ and ‘eventually.’ Secondly, this is the last time, on my end, that this nonsense will be brought up. To make fun of someone’s weight is wrong. Or any physical attribute. And to that, I’m sorry. To troll my social media and comment on my lack of money and lack of moving on from relationships is comical. Yes, I’m poor. I don’t portray a life of rags and riches on social media. I qualified for food stamps. I can’t repair my hubcap on my car. I had to borrow money from my best friend. I work three jobs so I can prove myself in the sports industry. So yes, you can insult my lack of money, but not my lack of jobs. And I admit that to my readers and the world, because many people don’t talk about their struggles. And if mine can help just one person, then my job is complete. As far as moving on from an ex, if you’re referring to your current boyfriend, please don’t flatter yourself or him. I think everyone that has watched my last relationship unfold clearly knows I have no problem moving on. And I don’t need to list examples or screenshots of the things that have been said to clearly prove my point. The hardest relationship to move on from, for me, was an ex in college who is now married. We dated for two years and talked about living together. My best friend and I would talk shit about the new girlfriend, because I was hurt. And in the moment, it felt better. But did it make me better? Did it get him back? No.

And, yes, I admit that, because it’s a struggle that people go through. Moving on from relationships is hard for people when they’re attached. And people don’t want to talk about it. But to troll my social media and blogs and claim I can’t move on… Well, come on now. I understand out of hurt and pain, you want to inflict it back. That’s human nature. We all have done it. I have. But to continue this sick annoying cycle at our age is petty. I portray my life just as it is. One struggle at a time. From fun dates, to shitty exes, to terrible days at work, to drunken nights, to days I pray to God asking for forgiveness and help. I’m not gonna cry wolf, get even, make insults or keep trying to win, like the hide-n-go-seek Lisa. I would rather be happy and wrong, than prove my point and be angry. I’m standing up for myself without being a bitch. I’m gonna keep being Lisa Tarr, a boss a$$ bitch, who is now, one dollar richer.

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