The Beginning Ghostbuster's Guide To Surviving Halloween
Start writing a post
Halloween

The Beginning Ghostbuster's Guide To Surviving Halloween

The spirits are rising up from the dead! Time to gear up!

285
The Beginning Ghostbuster's Guide To Surviving Halloween

HEY, YOU!!! YEAH!!! YOU!!!

HEED MY WORDS... your LIFE may DEPEND on IT!

We have passed the Equinox, the witching hour is gaining strength, and Orange Kit-Kat bars are in stores! That could only mean one thing... GHOSTS! And because of that, YOU need to be prepared to defend yourself from imminent haunting, guaranteed infestation, and impending possession.

Here are my top 13 tips for you to ward off evil apparitions in time for this upcoming All Hallows Eve!

Start with the home base.

Invest in some good mirrors, crucifixes and Holy Water. Better yet, INVITE A PRIEST to bless your home. Don't bother with boards and nails! These are not Zombies… they're GHOSTS! THEY WALK THROUGH WALLS. Also, SALT. EVERYWHERE!

 Develop a Taste for Classical Music.

Most spooks are absolutely floored by classical music. Makes their skin (or lack-there-of) crawl! Bach or Mozart should do a number on 'em!

If you don’t like the color red... YOU BETTER START!

Just like classical music, spooky spirits are deterred by the color red. So check out your local home-goods store and raid them for ALL of their red carpets, wallpaper, and clothing!

 Arm Up!

Get yourself a quality set of Ghost Annihilation gear. This calls for a raid of your local sporting goods store, or the Nerf aisle at Target — vests, pants with lots of pockets, gloves, ninja garb, something leather — all necessities! Also, you might want to track down a helmet or headgear of some sort, in case you encounter one of those pesky paranormal poltergeists! (I broke out the alliteration, so you KNOW I mean BUSINESS!)

Primary Weapon: Holy Water Blaster.

Those kids in "Monster House" would have had a lot more luck if those water guns had been filled with Holy Water!

Alternative Ammo: If you can, gather those slimy leftovers from the spooks and use it in your blaster. Especially if the ghost is one of those pesky fire/electricity spooks. Also, garlic… not sure if it will work, but worth a shot.

Secondary Weapon: The Spook-Saber.

At first glance, it may just look like a toy lightsaber that you picked up from the Halloween Costume section at Walmart… BUT I TELL YOU THIS, it is a deadly phantom phaser!

Disclaimer: You are gonna want to get that bad boy blessed by a priest, or at least a friend who paid attention in Sunday School. You're pretty much screwed if you don't. Proceed with caution.

Tertiary Weapon: Ghoul-y Bombs.

That's right! Water balloons filled with the same ammo of choice in your Holy Water (or other various spooky/Halloweenie fluid) Blaster! Should provide you with some handy grenade-like projectiles!

Caution: Careful, don't let them pop. You don't wanna be cornered with no backup

Secret Weapon: Graveyard Dirt!

YES! The ultimate tool to exorcize your abode. Spread it in and all around your property. IF YOU CAN TRICK THE GHOST(S) INTO EATING IT, THEY WILL EXPLODE IMMEDIATELY! (Easier said than done.)

Alternative: Salt. It works pretty well… for a while... kinda.

 Last Resort: Friendly Sacrifice.

Hate to say it, but you might have to. If you are in a group, best to go with the weakest link. Just throw that little bastard to the ghosts like bacon to the wolves! (Of course, they may just get a good slime-ing by a Class V Roaming Vapor.)

ALSO a GREAT WAY TO VANQUISH YOUR MORTAL ENEMIES AS WELL! A win-win in my book.

STUDY UP!

The more homework you can do on the haunted enemy, the better. As many movies, shows and books as you can get your hands on. My recommendations…

Books: The Ghosthunters series by Cornelia Funke, as well as any clues you can gather from R.L. Stine's body of work. ALSO, can't go wrong with "The Very Scary Almanac" by Eric Elfman.

Movies: The original "Ghostbusters" movie! (Stay away from the other one.)

TV Shows: "Ghost Adventures," "Haunted Live," and the original "Ghost Hunters." (Just hit up the Travel channel. All their stuff is good.) And again, R.L. Stine!

Be Aware!

Never let your guard down. It is easy to do: No signs of movement, all is quiet, things are NOT going bump in the night. You set down to rest, and are at peace… THE BLAM! You're possessed. BE CONSTANTLY ALERT.

Never Give Up!

Summon your will-power, for you shall prevail!

Now like… actually.

But seriously, if you want to survive, find some decent/semi-decent recording equipment, a few audio recorders, good lights or night vision, a group of pals, and then find the local Shriekin' Shack and get your Spook on!

HAPPY "GHOSTOBER"!


From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Arts Entertainment

Epic Creation Myths: Norse Origins Unveiled

What happened in the beginning, and how the heavens were set in motion.

2502
The Norse Creation Myth

Now, I have the everlasting joy of explaining the Norse creation myth. To be honest, it can be a bit kooky, so talking about it is always fun. The entire cosmos is included in this creation myth, not just the earth but the sun and the moon as well. This will be a short retelling, a summary of the creation myth, somewhat like I did with Hermod's ride to Hel.

Keep Reading...Show less
Old school ghetto blaster sat on the floor
8tracks radio

We all scroll through the radio stations in the car every once in a while, whether its because we lost signal to our favorite one or we are just bored with the same ol' songs every day. You know when you're going through and you hear a song where you're just like "I forgot this existed!" and before you know it, you're singing every word? Yeah, me too. Like, 95% of the time. If you're like me and LOVE some good throwback music, here's a list of songs from every genre that have gotten lost in time, but never truly forgotten.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

27 Hidden Joys

Appreciation for some of life's most discredited pleasures.

34207
Best Things in Life

Life is full of many wonderful pleasures that many of us, like myself, often forget about. And it's important to recognize that even on bad days, good things still happen. Focusing on these positive aspects of our day-to-day lives can really change a person's perspective. So in thinking about the little things that make so many of us happy, I've here's a list of some of the best things that often go unrecognized and deserve more appreciation:

Keep Reading...Show less
beer on the beach

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

7 Reasons SoCal Rocks!

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

6141
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt carrying girl in red jacket in Venice beach
Photo by Jeff Hopper on Unsplash

SoCal summers are the best summers by far, and honestly, no argument is needed. But, if you aren't sure why SoCal summers are the best, here are 7 reasons why!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments