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How To Be A Friend

Especially to those battling cancer.

Jun 17, 2019

media-public.canva.com

In November 2018 when I was diagnosed with brain cancer, my world felt as if it melted around me in loose pieces that could never be picked up. I wanted to talk about it to those who loved me because I knew they would really care, but the more people I spoke with, the more I heard, "Well my family member has been through this so I know what it's like" or "I saw this in a movie once".

I appreciate the story but a phrase I quickly learned from my oncologist was "Everyone is different." I'm my own person, my own story, and no one but me knows how my illness makes me feel.

Now, I'm not trying to make this "Boohoo! All about me!", but I want other people looking for advice to know how to be a friend to someone they love who is hard time.

1. Invites

Plenty of times I'm asked to do things: trips, hangouts, go to the mall. Most times I have to decline due to my health. I may look okay most of the time but the truth is my body is struggling to just make it up the stairs. This doesn't mean give up asking, one day I promise they'll say yes.

2. Endurance

Don't be insulted if after an hour or two your friend wants to go home. In my personal experience I live on bursts of energy. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it doesn't, but that doesn't mean they don't want to hangout with you.

3. Be Mindful

Be mindful of what you say, do, and even eat. This is a really sensitive time for the individual, and yes smell plays a huge part in it. So when they're around try to be courteous.

Overall, all anyone really wants is a friend to make them smile, spend time with, and to be able to confide it. Cancer is a really scary time, and it's even scarier to do it alone. Be the friend you would want to have.

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How To Be A Friend

Especially to those battling cancer.

In This Article:

1. Invites

2. Endurance

3. Be Mindful

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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