Let me just get one thing straight: breakups suck. It sucks when you lose someone who used to be part of your daily routine. It may hurt for a while, but remember that pain isn’t permanent. You need time to recover and move past the change. When you break up with someone, initially it feels like you’re losing a part of yourself. Now that you’re not with them anymore, you should work to become a better individual rather than to dwell on the past. I’m not saying you should forget the memories, but many people forget the importance of self love. You are worthy of love and happiness, but it needs to start inside first. You can’t rely on another person to make you feel that way. Here are tips on getting better and working towards an improved version of yourself.
1. Make positive playlists.
During the first few days of a break up, you’ll want to cry and sob to sad music. Give yourself a couple days to feel bad, but then pick yourself up by creating only happy playlists. Don’t have any songs that will remind you of your ex! Instead, pick songs that instantly lift you up and get you hype.
2. Change your look.
Dye or cut your hair to show this new rebirth. Try something new with your look that you’ve wanted to do forever, but haven’t had the courage to do yet. This is your time!
3. Don’t look at their social media.
You don’t necessarily have to delete them off of every social platform, but practice self-control and stop checking on them. It may be tough at first, but it’s a gradual process.
4. Spend time with your friends.
Your friends probably missed you while you were in your former relationship, so now it’s time to actually be a friend and spend more time with the homies. This may also be a time to make new friends! Get out there and find people who will lift your mood by being around them.
5. Focus on your school work!
Remember that college is fun, but you’re there to learn. Work hard in class, actually participate, do your homework, and expand your knowledge.
6. Detach.
This seems like a no brainer, but stop talking to your ex. Sometimes you end up never speaking to someone who meant the world to you and you must learn that that’s okay. You’ll cope and survive. Even if you would like to be friends with them, keep in mind that you have broken up and both need space to heal in order to form a healthy friendship.
7. Do something that will make you happy.
Give yourself something to look forward to that isn’t a person. Get back into your hobbies, read a book, plan yourself a nice trip, catch up with old friends, or just try something new. Do something you’ve been wanting to do for a while, but haven’t gotten around to do because this is your time.
8. Re-evaluate your goals and dreams, then aim to accomplish them.
Sometimes when we’re in relationships, we may compromise our wants for others. Now that you’re single, realize that this is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. You only have one life, so you might as well try to live it to the best of your ability and not be held down by someone else. Eventually the right person will come into your life, but for now just focus on being the best you possible.
9. Go to therapy.
Sometimes it’s not enough to talk to your friends about your break up. Seeing a therapist is nice since you’ll be able to talk to someone who won’t have biased opinions concerning the breakup and they want to listen to you in order to help you start the new chapter in your life.
10. Don’t dwell.
You'll get over someone by telling yourself this: You broke up for a reason. Now turn the page and move on. Keep reminding yourself and remember why you broke up with them, then stick to that. It understandable to feel sad about the situation, but don’t wallow in your misery. Aim to stay busy and distracted. Happiness is a choice and it’s all in your head. If you want to get over someone just tell your mind to do so. It's hard, but time will help. You just have to be strong.
Remember that recovery is an on-going progress. Your feelings are valid and you may be sad at times, but try your best to keep positive. You got this!
