We’re halfway through summer and it’s right around that time where everyone starts posting swimsuit/outfit pictures. It’s so easy to look at your friend’s posts or a celebrity’s story and think, “I really wish I looked like them. I hate the way I look.” Trust me, I’ve been there. And while some may argue that there’s an easy way to fix that dilemma, it’s harder for a lot of people to just wake up one day and have total confidence in the way they look.

It took me years to have the confidence I do now. But how did I get where I am now? If you know me, you know that I constantly look at myself in the mirror to see if I look bloated. I always used to convince myself that if I looked more like my sisters or even some of my friends, I’d love myself more.

How ridiculous does that sound?

This thought is actually very common, even among some of my friends that are smaller than I am. Many people go through life hating how they look and constantly wishing to be someone else. The positive change of mind does not happen overnight (but wouldn’t life be so much easier if it did?), but good things take time.

Despite everything going on the world right now, I can confidently say that I love myself AND my body more than I ever have. Want to know the secret?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Mainstream media has a surplus of unrealistic beauty standards set, and I have always found it disgusting. So what if you don’t look like Kylie Jenner or Zac Efron? You look like YOU, and that is perfect. This may seem like a cliche saying, but you are perfect just the way you are. All it takes to believe it is for you to remind yourself. Give yourself daily affirmations, even for the little things. You woke up this morning. You have friends and family that love you for you. You’re reading this article right now. You can achieve anything you put your mind to.

Something in particular that worked for me was changing my whole wardrobe. I was insecure about my clothes, but I never went out and bought anything new. Of course I would hate how I looked; I didn’t try anything different! There are no set rules for how you have to dress, do your hair, or wear your makeup. Do what makes you happy. Find clothes that you like, not clothes that Instagram tells you are popular.

After that, start doing more things that make you happy. Dance around to your favorite song while reminding yourself how great you are. Call your mom and talk to her about how her week is going. Pull out a coloring book! Watch your favorite TV show or read your favorite magazine. Doing things to make yourself truly happy will aid in the process of learning to love yourself: just think of positive affirmations geared towards yourself while doing these things.

I love myself now. I’m never looking back to the person I used to be.