Theater has been known to have profound effects on actors, and I believe every actor has that one show they performed in that influenced them incredibly. For me, this show is The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later.

The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later is the sequel to The Laramie Project and essentially continues the story ten years later. For anyone who doesn't know about this show, it is based upon the events of October 1998 in Laramie, Wyoming where a young college student by the name of Matthew Shepard was brutally beaten to death because he was homosexual. Members of the Tectonic Theater Company went out to Laramie to talk to the town and people who knew him about the effect Matt's death had on the town. They follow the trial of the two men who murdered Matt as well. The script of the show is comprised of nearly verbatim interviews with Laramie citizens, personal journal entries of the company members, and the records from the trial of Matt's murderers.

The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later takes place ten years after Matthew's death. The company members return to Laramie to see how the town has changed since Matthew's death and the trial. They go back and speak to many of the same people they interviewed the first time in addition to other citizens and students at the University of Wyoming where Matt was a student when he was killed. What they find is a community that changed in some ways, but not always for the better.

Being in this show, we as actors play real people and speak their actual words. It is unlike any other show I have ever been in. Our roles are legislators fighting for hate crime legislation, family of Matthew Shepard who still feel the emotional damage of losing Matt in such a horrible way, and friends who are reminded every day of Matt and his death.

When I auditioned for The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, I don't think I truly understood how deeply this show would shake me. Some of my own lines bring tears to my eyes. When I watch other scenes, the people on stage aren't the friends I know. They become people who had to deal with a tragic situation that is still very present in their hearts and minds ten years later.

Not every actor does this, but my process of acting begins with just a cold memorization of the lines. Once they're mostly down, I begin thinking about what I'm saying and trying to decide how this character would say them. Finally, the last piece is connecting these words to the character and the physical and emotional reactions they provoke within myself. Every character I have ever played comes from within myself and remains there well after the show is over because of this incredibly personal connection I develop with the character.

But the characters in this show aren't simply characters. They are real people. Finding that connection within myself has literally created a connection to another human being that I have never felt before. I feel like I have actually incorporated a portion of these residents of Laramie into my own personality. The pain and suffering that stemmed from Matthew Shepard's murder is more real to me than any other pain I have ever felt in character.

To anyone who is not in theater and has never acted, this may sound ridiculous, but I mourn and feel the effects of the young man who was killed when I was an infant in a very, very real way. It is as if I was there and lived through it, as if I was the police officer who arrived on the scene to find Matthew's body, as if I am a mother worried about the effect homophobia will have on her children. When a character I play raises her voice in anger, that isn't acting. That is real anger that rises within me when this character is faced with homophobia. Those are real tears that fall when I listen to the impassioned speeches of Matthew's family. That is real horror I feel when characters talk about how some don't believe his death was a hate crime.

The entire show is filled with raw emotions that affects everyone involved, actors and audience alike. I have never been so challenged, and yet so incredibly blessed, to be in a show.

The issues of homophobia, hate crimes, and collective denial that are brought up in The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later are problems that we still struggle with today as individuals, as communities, as a nation, even as a world. This show has brought the story of Matthew Shepard across the country and has helped influence positive change within communities and within individuals.

I am one individual who has been personally affected by this show. If ever there is an opportunity to see either The Laramie Project or its sequel The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, take that opportunity and let it change you.

Let's continue to promote equality for everyone.

Rest in Peace, Matthew Shepard.