New York City. A place to some people that means very little. But to others, means everything. In my opinion, New York is one of the most magical places. It will forever hold a special place in my heart and I will forever call it my second home. I, living in North Dakota, have been blessed to travel to New York over 10 times, but probably not for the reasons you may think.
I have learned over the past 18 years, that no matter how much people think they know you, they truly never know what is going on. Sometimes, it's even the people who seem closest to you, that surprise you by how they act. People always think they know or need to know what's going on in other people's lives. If they hear something from someone, they instantly believe them without finding any facts. As humans, we are so surface level and never go deeper because we are scared of what we might find out, or we find things that we have previously judged wrongly and we don't want to feel bad. We hardly ever think about how other people will feel when we say things because at the end of the day, most people just want to do what's best for themselves.
For the rest of my life, people will never fully understand what I have been through nor will I fully understand what they have been through. That's the beauty of life though. Each and every single person has to go through things. Some people will go through similar things and others will go through things that are completely different.
You would think that after seeing or reading what I have gone through, or knowing me, people would try and understand. But that's the problem, some people just don't care. Right away it bothered me, right away I was mad, right away I didn't understand how people could be so shallow.
You're probably wondering what any of this has to do with New York City, so I will clue you in. New York changed me. New York changed me emotionally and literally as I have had surgeries out there. From the very first time I saw the skyline out of the airplane window, I knew that it was magic. New York was everything I had always wanted. Nobody cared what I looked like, the sights were breathtaking, and the feeling of standing in the middle of Times Square still brings chills every time I think about it. New York taught me something. It taught me that the world is so much bigger than the people who don't understand, the people who don't care, and the people who judge.
Whenever I would tell people, or people heard from someone else, that my family and I were going back to New York, I would always find people who tried to understand and be supportive, but there were also people who truly didn't understand. Every time my family and I go, I always get the response, "wow, you are so lucky that you get to go to New York all the time," or, "wow, you're going there again." Now, I understand that these people probably don't even realize what they are saying to me. They don't realize what is actually going on. I'm not going on vacation. I'm going because I want to take care of myself, I'm going because I need help, I'm going because New York is the only place where I can go.
If you would've asked me years ago if I wish I didn't look like this, I definitely would've said yes. I would've changed my looks in a heartbeat. But now, things are different. I am different. Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I wish I could look different, but honestly, if you asked me that question now, I would immediately say no. I wouldn't change a thing. People judge everyone so instead of caring what people think and wasting my time on that, I have decided to try and embrace what my life is. And honestly, it's not easy, it will never be easy, but I have to try. So please, think about what you say and know that everyone is going through their own struggles. I am forever blessed that I get the opportunity to travel to NYC, but not because of the sights or the things to do, but because every time that I go, it opens my eyes to the world. And for that reason, I am forever grateful that I get to call New York my second home.
