For the past month, I have been involved in a long distance relationship with the boy I have been with for four months. When we first got together, we had both already picked out our colleges for the upcoming fall semester and before leaving we had both come to terms with not being able to see one another everyday like we were used to. As the weeks went by, we slowly inched our way to move-in day, which we had been dreading for weeks. We said our “see you later’s” and set out on our different paths. We had both believed that the distance would be a piece of cake and the months would fly by, but once the first week was over we knew that this wouldn’t be the case. We began fighting and becoming more and more distant with each other and we knew that if this relationship was going to thrive the way it used to, we would have to change the way we were doing things. We designated a time that we were both free to talk and we discussed what was going on and what things we could do to fix it. We compromised on a lot and as the weeks have gone by we’ve been doing much better than before. If you are stuck in a similar predicament then you can relate to how I felt, and I would like to share with you some of the lessons that I have learned from this past month.
Communication is Key
One of our biggest issues as a couple was our lack of communication. Sure, we talked everyday, but the problem was that the conversations were hollow instead of how they used to be. We didn’t express ourselves or how we felt about things. We didn’t seem to have much of an interest in speaking with each other at all at most points. In a relationship, you have to be able to communicate on a level higher than just, “how was your day,” especially in a long distance relationship.
Trust is Not An Option
I cannot stress enough the importance of trust in a long distance relationship, if you think that if your significant other is going to go off with their friends and party or that they are going to go find someone else then there is something that needs to be fixed. You can’t live comfortably if you are constantly worried about what your boyfriend/girlfriend is out doing. If you are concerned about something in the relationship, discuss it and set boundaries.
Boundaries Shouldn’t Be Leashes
Many times in relationships, there comes a point where you feel as though there are things that your partner should not be doing. When this does happen, it is important that you are able to discuss these things and compromise instead of forcing it upon them and/or giving them an ultimatum.
Make Time For Phone Calls
Talking on the phone can be the link to the missing connection in most instances. By only texting everyday, the conversations become more dry and distance is created, but a simple phone call can make you feel closer to one another.
By practicing these simple tasks in your everyday lives, you will be able to grow as not only a couple but also as an individual. The distance in a relationship does not have to be it’s defining factor, and definitely not the deal breaker.
