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13 Tips That'll Guarantee You Survive This Thanksgiving

Your own survival guide to get you through Thanksgiving dinner 2017.

Tayla M Carbary

Nov 21, 2017

Rhode Island College

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13 Tips That'll Guarantee You Survive This Thanksgiving

Nikhita Singhal

What would we do without our family? I simply do not know. Maybe: worry less about impressing people, wear what we want, be honest about how we feel... Well, in any case, don't worry, I have got you covered for this week's family event... Thanksgiving:

1. Prep Answers

That's right... prep your answers. You never know when Uncle Joe is going to ask about politics, school (that's right... AGAIN), your plans for the future, etc. So, take some time... the night before (after you plan your Black Friday route), to decipher what you are going to say to all of his questions. ** +1 sip for every time he smiles at an answer...+3 sips for each rebuttal he gives**

2. Ripped. Jeans.

Whatever you do... DO NOT WEAR RIPPED JEANS. You are asking for it if you do. Here are three reasons why you SHOULD NOT:

#1: "Did you get those HALF OFF? hahaha," **rolls eyes**.

#2: "Did you buy them like that or did you trip hahaha?" **rolls eyes**

#3: "You know what, maybe I should get a pair of those... show off my great legs too! hahaha," **rolls eyes**... THANKS AGAIN AUNT SUE FOR RUINING EVERYTHING

3. Set The Table

You'll really impress Nonna with this one, and she will be amazed by how responsible you have become. Also, offering to help set the table will be literally saving yourself from the small talk in the kitchen. A.K.A. the easy way to avoid hearing Aunt Sue brag about her dessert she slaved for weeks over.

4. Ignore the Comments

Trust me, IGNORE the family members comments. It's way easier than fighting about it because believe me, you won’t hear the end of it and Christmas is literally 4 weeks away so it's not even worth it.

5. "How's school going?"

GULP! That's right... every time someone asks, I dare you to take 1 - 3 sips of whatever alcoholic drink you have in hand. Then answer with the same thing you said last time they asked, "Good... yeah it's awesome I love it". Then run away quickly while you continue to chug.

6. "Are you enjoying the college experience though?"

You know the deal, sip again. Then insist school is going great & don’t mention that you think about dropping out daily. NOTE: take another sip every time you think about telling someone you are literally 5 Blackboard assignments away from dropping out... you deserve it.

7. Kid's Table

This one is pure genius... and I don't know why we all didn't think of it sooner. We rush to sit with the adults for literally no reason. For the rest of my life, I swear I will only sit on the kids' side. I mean sure cousin Joey mixing his snot with his mashed potatoes is a little much... but surely its way better than Aunt Sue & Cathy's annoying questions, comments and concerns about you.

8. Survival of the Fittest

Literally... it's about how much you can fit on your plate. Skip to #10 if you are confused with this one. Divide the plate into smaller sections by organizing meat on one side, veggies on the opposite side and potatoes & stuffing in the middle. It is the perfect way to organize & manage your food... plus, this way things that you don't want to touch, won't. #plategoals

9. Portion Control

No, seriously this one is genius. And yes I was hesitant too when I came up with this one. Take a little bit of everything at first, that way you don't get too full on one thing and you can have more of what you really like.

10. Don't Get Fleepy

NOTE: Fleepy: being too full & sleepy resulting in a miserable mood (opposite of hangry). Don't worry there is an easy solution to this... just take a food coma nap! You deserve it! GO YOU, do you see how much you just ate... champions need to rest sometime.

11. Dessert

This one is so easy, EAT them all. Do yourself the favor, have a slice of each pie, try one of each cookie, and you should definitely try whatever the concoction Auntie Sue made... you won't hear the end of it if you don't.

12. YES To Leftovers

This is a no-brainer... Yes, it does suck to carry the sterno pans back to your car after but it will be worth it when 7PM comes around and you need a snack before your pre-Black Friday nap. Also, will come in handy when you take a turkey sandwich to go with your Black Friday shopping at 10PM.

13. Black Friday

Two Words: BLACK. FRIDAY. DUH! It's what we've been waiting for since Halloweekend people. So just survive dinner and you can get there! Target, Ulta, VS... oh my! Let's get this show on the road.... because it is time to shop until we drop. Literally.

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13 Tips That'll Guarantee You Survive This Thanksgiving

Your own survival guide to get you through Thanksgiving dinner 2017.

1. Prep Answers

2. Ripped. Jeans.

3. Set The Table

4. Ignore the Comments

5. "How's school going?"

6. "Are you enjoying the college experience though?"

7. Kid's Table

8. Survival of the Fittest

9. Portion Control

10. Don't Get Fleepy

11. Dessert

12. YES To Leftovers

13. Black Friday

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"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

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