Step 1: Find a live, functioning companion who will pose for pictures with you.

Step 2: Stalk said companion on Facebook. Possibly find new companion.

Step 3: Photoshop your faces into a wedding photo to see if it looks like it could be a bright future.

Step 4: Text the date introducing yourself, telling him/her/it you're excited, "It's gonna be so much fun!" and something witty to show that you're funny and chill. Then ask what alcohol they prefer because you're also a caring, good host. Basically you're just an all around great person and they should feel blessed you've chosen this person to be your date.

Step 5: If you're a girl, excessively talk about it with your friends. If you're a guy, forget about it until your date asks you what time the pregame starts 10 minutes before the pregame starts.

Step 6: Find out who said date is friends with, of whom will also be in attendance that evening. It's imperative you know who to surround yourself and your date with so you don't ever have to talk directly to him/her.

Step 7: Clean your room. You don't know where you're gonna end up, like what's the protocol here? If it's your house's function does that mean you host the "after hours"? Better to be safe than sorry since you're unfamiliar with the rules and regulations of date nights, otherwise you'd know how to find yourself a date.

Step 8: Pregame for the pregame to wash away the thought of how awkward this might be.

Step 9: Meet your date at the pregame, making sure the two of you are never left alone.

Step 10: Pregame to the playlist made specifically for the date night pregame, probably labeled "date night pre game."

Step 11: Take and pose for an unnecessary amount of pictures.

Step 12: Drink.

Step 13: Instagram or make a MyStory on SnapChat because pics or it didn't happen.

Step 14: Drink more.

Step 15: Go to actual the date night. If you still are in possession of your live and functioning companion who appears to remain live and functioning, that's a good sign.

Step 16: Make your entrance.

Step 17: You do you.

Step 18: That inevitable debate whether or not to end the night with your date, but you have an 8 a.m. that you can't miss.

Step 19: Wake up the next morning to a pounding headache and the discovery that you slept through all your morning classes.

Step 20: Use the dignity you have left to text your date, thanking him/her/it for a great time, and what the final cost came out to be.