I stumbled upon a journal prompt saying “What is standing in your way right now?” My answer is my health. It is an easy question to answer with a complex explanation. Right now I have reactivated mono, a cold, and the worst outbreak of eczema I’ve had in four years. Usually, I would add my ovarian cysts, which I’ve been dealing with for over six years, to the list but from the grace of God, that hasn’t been bothering me this month.

So, what’s the cause of all my increased health issues lately? Simple answer again, stress. My mother has always told me I create a lot of self-stress and worry. I’ve always thought of it as motivation but when you’re in college and have so many things to juggle the stress and worry can build up. Believe it or not, stress can exacerbate just about any health condition you can think of; heart disease, asthma, obesity, diabetes, headaches, depression, anxiety, gastrointestinal problems, and even premature death are all things that stress triggers or attributes to, to name a few. For me, I’ve been more stressed this past year than I have ever been thus far in my life. I’ve had tests, classes, labs, clinicals, working out, eating healthy, work, and maintaining a social life so I don’t go bonkers – I think I’m already there, though. Obviously, I reached a point my “motivation” turned into standards that I didn’t have the resources to meet, which caused more stress. More stress meant my immune system got weaker which then allowed everything else to follow. I’d like to go back in time and give stress a call and break up with it but back then I didn’t realize I had that choice and now I’m paying the consequences.

Let’s start with my reactivated mono. After you get mono the virus becomes latent, or inactive, in your body. I learned in pathophysiology that a lucky two percent of the population who get could have it reactivate. If your mono is reactivated it does not always cause symptoms but those with weakened immune systems (I’m raising my hand) are more likely to develop symptoms. Thinking back my mono reactivated in October, four months ago. I noticed I was more tired than usual and was feeling achy so I went to the doctors and came up with a positive strep test. Great, I said, this will be a couple of weeks and some antibiotics and I’ll be good as new. Hah, wrong! Right when I thought I was getting better I got accepted into the nursing program containing a crazy whirlwind schedule of studying, lectures, labs, clinicals, and the occasional moment to shove food down my face or shower. Did I mention the number one symptom of mono is fatigue? Ya girl doesn’t have time for that!

Moving on to my eczema, which I’ve been dealing with for over four years. For those of you who have never had eczema, or even heard of it, it’s the body’s response to an allergic reaction. We’re not talking closed throat, can barely breathe type of allergic reaction, eczema is more of a chronic allergic reaction. There are different types of eczema but mine is characterized by red, dry, itchy patches of skin that usually appears in the creases of my elbows. During the summer it’s basically non-existent and during the winter, due to the coldness it flares up every now and then. This winter though, oh boy this winter. Not only is it in the creases of my elbows, but the creases of my knees, all of my face and eye lids, on my neck, and a little on my chest. Normally dairy causes my outbreaks but I learned that once you get eczema once, literally anything your body doesn’t like could cause a reaction. Really narrows it down huh?

As for my cold, that’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s winter, it’s cold and flu season, I have clinicals for nursing in the hospital, around sick people, and despite my best efforts or avoid it, my immune system is already compromised. I can’t breath, I can’t sleep because I can’t breath, and I can’t focus because I can’t sleep.

Moral of my story and lesson to take from it, manage your stress. There are so many things to help you decompress and relax, all you have to do is find the thing or things that work for you. Obviously, I didn’t and I created the big hot mess of the ultimate domino effect of me making my way towards what feels like the end of my existence, as I know it, not to be dramatic or anything, but I really am just that sick. So, be the healthy one for the both of us and take a deep breath, take a step back, and ask yourself if whatever you’re worrying or stressing about is more important than your health, mine most certainly wasn't.

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34