Somehow I’ve made it to my senior year, and I still don’t know what I’m going to do after graduation. I’ve chosen to not accept the fact that come May, I will be leaving the place I’ve called home for the past three years. Does anyone really know what they want to do with their life? I’m sure people have an idea or a goal, but do they really know how to accomplish it all? I know what interests me and jobs that I could like to have. I know I want to get an internship to gain more experience and to also avoid getting a job right away. I know I should start looking and applying for an internship and planning for my future. If I do all that, though, if I start preparing for my life after college, then it’s real. I’m actually graduating.
I am constantly asked what I’m going to do after graduation. Each time I’m asked about my future I have the same answer, “I don’t know.” I hate that answer, because I kind of know, but I’m not ready to tell anyone about it. How can I explain my future plans when I’m not even sure what they are?
I have chosen to not accept the fact that college is ending, and that I am going to be a real life adult, with adult responsibilities, and adult answers to questions. It is not the time for all that yet. I am still a student, a fake adult, a dependent adult, and someone who does not what to answer the questions about what I am going to do after I graduate. Each time the subject comes up in conversation I begin to panic and dread having to give a response. I tell people I don’t know, but really, I’d like to tell them to leave me alone or ignore. Although I answer, “I don’t know” to anyone who asks.
These are the real reactions I wish I could give to the questions I hate:
"Are you excited to graduate?"
"What are your plans after school?"
"Do you know where you want to live?"
"Do you want to stay at home?
"Are you ready to get a job?"
"Do you know what kind of job you’re looking for?"
"Have you even applied anywhere?"
"How are you going to pay for everything?"
And the big one…. "What do you want to do with your life?"
I know I have to start thinking about my life after graduation, but that doesn't mean I need to tell everyone about my plans or answer their questions. I still have seven more months to call myself a college student. So, until then, stop asking.
